Jasmine Star (00:00:01) - Welcome back to The Jasmine Star Show, a place we talk about business, marketing and everything that goes into helping you live a life that you love with people you love, doing it on your own terms. Okay, as we wrap up the year, I have been reflecting on positive mindset shifts and lessons that I have. You know, number one experience personally into I've seen within my community, I'm recording this episode, sharing them in hopes that they will help you too as you enter in the new year. But I'm going to pause here. I just did something that didn't settle well. I said my community, it is not my community, it is our community. And the minute that I make anything my own, it excludes you, the person I find the most valuable. So when I talk about the community, I actually mean it as ours. And I want to be very clear and stop myself from not speaking my dang truth. All right. But let's go back into the mindset shifts.Jasmine Star (00:01:04) - Before we get into each one, I'm going to let you know what they are. You know how we do here with our frameworks. I'll let you know in the front end. And then we deep dive number one is to replace the need for motivation with momentum. Oh yeah. We're going there. Number two to celebrate continuous improvement. And not just really huge wins. Number three is to embrace non dualistic thinking. Number four is to remember being present in that being present is a choice. Number five is to embrace infinite identities. Number six apply the power of. Yet when something feels limiting. And finally lucky number seven challenge the story you're telling yourself. I mean prepare your hearts. Your girl is coming in hot. Okay, the first mindset shift to replace is the need for motivation with momentum. Now, before we dive into this, you might have heard me say action builds confidence. Let me explain that first, because I believe that they go hand in hand. Business owners often wait until they feel confident to show up and take action.Jasmine Star (00:02:03) - When taking action is actually how you build confidence, by proving to yourself that you're capable of facing challenges in making progress, you increase your self-assurance. It's literally proof that you can do hard things to get the results you want. Now, I didn't say an answer, I said results. Your hard work will often not give you exactly what you want, but it's the path of guiding you to finding the right answer. The more action you take, the faster you're going to get results to find that answer. Action leads to confidence, which encourages more action and improvement, and that leads your business to more results. So remember, waiting for confidence to appear before taking action won't happen. Now, I've seen business owners. They often rely solely on motivation to take action like they tell themselves. Once I'm motivated, then I'm going to start working on things that are going to help me reach my goals. But the thing is, when you start taking action and building momentum in a task or a project, it creates a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction in your brain.Jasmine Star (00:03:07) - Now, this feeling of progress and achievement will motivate you to continue working towards your goals. Friends, that right there, the shortest way that I can say this is just start doing. Something. Just start doing something, anything. Even if you think it's not the best place to start or the best time to start, just start y. Taking action leads to momentum, and momentum and motivation are interconnected. Momentum is how you create internal motivation, which is sustainable and that is in your control. Unlike watching a motivational YouTube video like that may or may not create external motivation, which is reliant on other factors outside of your control. Here's an example. Imagine two friends who started their coaching businesses at the same time. We're going to call them Ashley and Nicole. Ashley relies on motivation, waiting for the perfect moment or mood to take action and generate new leads. But Nicole, on the other hand, well, she's focusing on building momentum by reaching out to five people every single day who could be prospective clients, whether she feels motivated or not.Jasmine Star (00:04:16) - Okay, pause here. Nicole is doing work even when she doesn't feel motivated, even when she doesn't feel qualified, even if the time isn't right, even when the mood ain't right, even when there's not scented candles. Setting the vibe. And after you've journaled and have a cold plunge and you had your workout and a protein smoothie, she's doing it even when those optimal situations are not there. So in a year, Nicole has consistent revenue and a client base because she maintains a steady flow of new people added to her network. Well, Ashley's business generates little to no profit because her actions are based on her motivation levels. Oh, did I just like shots fired? Yeah. Your girl did not come to play. Let's go to mindset shift number two. Celebrate continuous improvement. Oh, y'all like me. If you're like me, you love to sell big wins and milestones like you should. Rightfully so. Go on, go on with your bad self. You did that. But to get even more results in your business, I want you to start celebrating smaller improvements and wins.Jasmine Star (00:05:18) - I was actually reading about this philosophy, and it's a philosophy of celebrating continuous improvement. And it's known as the Kaizen mindset, which is a Japanese mindset. It's a Japanese concept. So this mindset shift is the belief that small incremental changes often lead to major progress over time. Now, small incremental progress that leads to changes over time. So if this is leading to consistency and I'm sorry we'll go back down. It went to high okay. Rate. This improves consistency and persistence which we know often leads to success. So here's an example David is a freelance copywriter. And he only measures his success by completing big projects or landing high profile clients. Okay. But let's focus on small wins that changed his business from the inside out. He began celebrating things that weren't just monetary. He started celebrating writing faster, improving brand voice, and learning new writing techniques. Now, this mindset boosted his confidence in his efficiency, making his clients very satisfied and excited to keep him on as a writing contractor. By celebrating continuous improvement, David improved his reputation as a copywriter and, as a byproduct, increased his revenue.Jasmine Star (00:06:34) - If you're not sure what this looks like in your business, here's some ideas like. Let's give you a reason to throw a party positive feedbacks or reviews from your client feedbacks. Yes, I just made it plural feedbacks, positive feedback and testimonials from your clients, how you handled a tough situation or conversation, improvements in your workflow and your systems or operations. Successful teamwork or really cool collaboration. New creative ideas. Okay, so I'm gonna take a second and I'm going to tell you about this little cheesy idea that I loved. Back in October, I created a win board in my office, and it includes every kind of like small highlight that I would have normally, like, kind of like been like, oh, that's cool, but I would have glossed right over. For example, I wrote down a win, was having a conversation with a company that I wanted to partner with. Now nothing happened from that conversation. We still have a ton of follow up calls and contracts and final confirmation that we can actually partner together, but the win was simply that the call happened.Jasmine Star (00:07:32) - I'm celebrating the start of that conversation as well as like, hopefully, like I'm celebrating the start of it and then hopefully I'm going to start the end, like celebrating the end of that conversation too. So celebration on the front, celebration at the end okay. So let's go back to our mindset shifts. Number one was to replace the need for motivation with momentum doing the work even you don't feel like it. Number two was to celebrate continuous improvement. Like whenever I think of number two I always have the background like Celia Cruz. Okay, okay. It's like salsa. It's like I'm just gonna throw a party because I'm doing the dang work. Like, if you don't throw a party for yourself, ain't nobody gonna throw a party for you. Okay? So get, like, some Cuban music, get out of school, put on dancing. Just get your groove on because you're. You're celebrating the small wins. Number three is to embrace non dualistic thinking. So yeah your girl just went from like dancing cumbia, cumbia and salsa to like non dualistic thinking.Jasmine Star (00:08:28) - Time to sound a little bit smart. I can't even say that without. I can't even say it straight. I can't even say now it's time to sound smart without not sounding smart. Okay, so we often feel like we need to organize people and things in situations and ideas like good or bad, hero, villain, right or wrong. And this is called a binary mindset. A binary mindset is when you see things only in black and white terms, like there's no like middle ground, there's no shades of gray. And this could lead to small thinking and limit your ability to make informed decisions. So how do you not do this? By embracing non dualistic thinking. Non dualistic thinking is the ability to see interconnectedness or like shades of gray in all aspects of your life and business. And this could lead to more empathy, being more open minded and a deeper understanding of really complex issues. So here's an example of how non dualistic thinking can have a huge impact in somebody's business. Like let's use an example.Jasmine Star (00:09:24) - Let's say her name is Sarah. Sarah owns a sustainable brand and has a choice to make. She wanted to make her clothes in a way that was good for the environment and fair for workers. At first she thought, dang, I only have two options choose between cheap factories that aren't very fair to their workers, or expensive ones that are fair, but they cost a fortune. But then she started thinking non dualistic. She realized that there were other options on the in-between. Sarah started talking to her current factories about doing things better. She also talked about what she was doing on social media to make things more fair and responsibly sourced in a fashion industry, which led her followers to giving her insights and offering like, hey, like new perspectives about what she's doing. This change in thinking helped her find better solutions. Sarah learned that not everything is good or bad. There are many, many ways to make things better, small and incrementally along the way. Now, this approach not only made her brand more ethical, but it made her brand more well loved and well known to her ideal client.Jasmine Star (00:10:22) - People were speaking into that. Okay, so let's take the story away from Sarah and put it back to your girl. Because remember that company that I wanted to partner with, the one that I put on like my wind board, it was like a small win. Well, before we thought of a partnership, we were using a binary mindset. Now, I don't want to get into too much details, but we were literally going to create our own tutorial videos on how to use a platform for your business. It was another platform for your business and I want to repeat that again. We were going to make a handbook on how to use another product. Why? Because up until this point, we had never seen a company do such a massive partnership and create unique tutorials for our needs. Okay, so this was a classic black and white perspective because they hadn't done it in the past. We believed that they wouldn't do it in the future. But then we started embracing non dualistic thinking. We literally mapped out everything we needed a dream list of how we could partner with this company.Jasmine Star (00:11:20) - And then we pitched them and I felt so ridiculous. I felt so I felt like I was so out of my league. I felt like I was saying everything wrong. I felt like it was so audacious, like, who was I to go to that company and say, I need you to do all of this, to partner with us? And guess what? It agreed to every request. And here's where it gets better. They gave us ideas on how we can improve the offer. It almost feels like what kind of story or parallel universe am I living in? Like this is because it was no longer binary thinking we asked for. How great could we make it? This isn't black or white. It was like 50 Shades of Grey. I mean, you knew that. You knew that joke was coming. You knew it was there. It was like the cheese. It was so set up for me. Okay. And this, friends, this moment of saying it's not binary and could we be audacious and could we ask for everything that we want? Because if they say no, we're exactly in the same place we started.Jasmine Star (00:12:21) - That is embracing a different mindset. And this brings us to the fourth mindset shift, which is to remember that being present is a choice. Recognizing the choice of being present empowers you to take control of your mindset. Control of your time controls your actions. If you've ever worked in a restaurant or if you've had any sort of night shift, you might remember that feeling of dread that lingered the whole day. Knowing that you're going to have to clock in at 4 p.m. and like, I want to think of all the mornings and afternoons wasted by dreading that future shift and then not making the most of that time off that you had during the day. I worked night shift as a waitress for years, and I would waste so many days being like, okay, I got to get all of this. Oh, and I'm not going to get enough sleep. And oh, like, I just wasted my days. And honestly, I bet like when you got there, like when I did, it wasn't as nearly as dreadful as we imagined in our mind.Jasmine Star (00:13:12) - Our minds have a way of keeping us overthinking like the past and then dreading the future. We must wire our brains to live in the present. Even if you just have like five minutes or even an hour a day, you can make the most out of it. And then you could choose to be present in that five minutes or in that 60 minutes. So here's an example okay. And this is an example from somebody I actually experienced in the past. But we're changing his name. Adam is a podcast producer with a teenage daughter. He has 15 minutes in between his back to back meetings every Tuesday. He has these meetings every Tuesday for five hours straight. And he was dreading those short breaks. You know, like, I'm gonna use this quote. It was like a waste of time. Like those 15 minutes. Oh, that was just like a waste of time. So he would scroll Instagram until he realized he was wasting an hour of his Tuesday an hour. So he had four breaks each 15 minutes.Jasmine Star (00:14:00) - I was like an hour like. So now he uses these little pockets of time to unwind by stepping outside. He takes a few deep breaths and he prepares for the next meeting. What used to be like a waste of time is now the best use of his time. And now, every Tuesday during one of his breaks, he's able to call his daughter and he talks to her on her way home from school. So every Tuesday at 315, her phone rings and she knows it's her dad using his break to focus and be present with her. And here's the best part when he and his daughter get home, they're able to be more engaged and patient because they've caught up with each other just a little bit. And Adam used his break time to focus on taking care of himself and his relationships. Okay, so before I get any further, I want to review where we're at. My mindset shift number one was to replace the need for motivation with momentum. Number two was to celebrate those continuous wins and improvement.Jasmine Star (00:14:54) - Number three is to embrace non dualistic thinking. Number four is to remember that being present is a choice. And now number five is to embrace an infinite identity. My word for 2023 was rebirth. And like I don't have to tell you man. Like did it come like to life for me? Did that word just like make itself true in my life? Yes, but not in the way that I expected? To be honest, nothing about me changed in my life until about late August or early September, so I haven't spoken publicly about this experience because I'm still working through a lot of everything that I had learned, but I would love to share about my first ever alone trip to a place called sensei. So I went to sensei and I wasn't really excited to go. I had a mentor, I had my husband and I had RC oh oh, look across from me and say, you got to step away like you got to get away. And they saw in me what I couldn't see myself that I was working so much to compensate for something, anything.Jasmine Star (00:16:01) - And if I was being very honest in my family, I come from a long line on both sides of addiction. And so I think in today's society, some addictions are celebrated and some addictions are pushed to the side. And so we know addictions that are not so healthy. And I think I got to a point where I got really addicted to work and it was the only thing I wanted to do. And I think that the work was substituting me not wanting to address like stuff that had happened in 2022. So I thought, oh, 2023, I'm getting this new word. It's called rebirth. And all of these things are going to be like, so amazing. I'm going to be a new person. And in my mind, and my finite, small minded human thinking, I was like, my rebirth would be totally, perfectly scheduled around February, March because I'm going to be ready for it. And then I just realized that the more that things didn't change in my life, the more I just wanted to work.Jasmine Star (00:16:46) - Because work kept me busy, and work kept me not feeling the things that I wanted to feel. And so when I was 100% with my family was 100% of family, but I was 100% with work, it was 100% with work. Like there was no like time to just be and think and feel. And so August, September 3rd very important people said, you're going and you need to go by the end of the month. So I went and I spent a week by myself or something I have never done in my entire life. And there I met a lot of great people. I worked with therapist, I did meditation, I did yoga, and one of the things that I learned is that something I've always learned, but it was good to hear it again, is that I am not my work, and my work isn't me, and my worth is not in the work that I do, the work that I produce, or how much I work. And more than anything, I learned that my identity isn't fixed.Jasmine Star (00:17:37) - It doesn't have to be one thing. I believe that our identities can be infinite. I could be an entrepreneur and I can be a mother, and I could be a partner in life and business and friendship. I could be a daughter. I can be a granddaughter. I can be a friend. I can be an auntie. I can be a cousin. I can be 37 different types of entrepreneurs. You have the power to evolve and change no matter what box people try to put you in. Or let's just be real, the box you put yourself in. So in order to do this, you have to reflect on what you want to change. You want to set clear goals, and you want to be open to evolving over time. Let people know about your goals. Act on your goals. And. Be kind to yourself as you grow. It might feel like you're starting over when you decide to reinvent yourself or your career, but trust me, you're not. We can get into an example, right? Let's say there is an audition.Jasmine Star (00:18:30) - Let's call her Britney. And, you know, like, Britney's business really got started and started getting noticed on TikTok, but not by potential clients, but by other estheticians like her setup videos, her product recommendations and her industry knowledge had citizens from around the world reaching out to her for advice and asking questions on how to grow on social media. Now, even though Britney spent years building a brand as solely an esthetician, huh? She started to choose to embrace an infinite identity. She started realizing that she had a big opportunity in front of her. Britney decided to pivot her brand and add on consultations for other industry professionals. Her reinvention allowed her to share her expertise, impact more lives, and make more money. Okay, so now let's dive into the sixth powerful mindset shift the power of yet. The power of yet is one of the most simple yet effective mindset shifts. I will pause here and tell you that in the car ride yesterday, JD and I were driving from Newport Beach to Venice Beach, California, and we had this opportunity and I had said, well, I just don't know.Jasmine Star (00:19:35) - And then I stopped myself and I said, I don't know yet. Are everything changes on yet? When I say, oh, we can't afford that. Oh well, we can't afford that yet. So here's how it works. When we say phrases like I can't do this or I don't have enough money or I don't know, it signifies the sense of incapability, or like maybe it signifies fear failure. But if we incorporate the word yet at the end of these statements, you give them an entirely different perspective, saying, I can't do this yet recognizes your present limitations while acknowledging you have the power to change it. In other words, this shift adding yet impacts our brains and reminds us that we are not confined by our current abilities or current circumstances. The next time you find yourself saying the sentence that makes you feel limited or small, or just not where you want to be. Give it a try. Just add yet. So here are some other ways that you can use the power of. Yet.Jasmine Star (00:20:39) - I haven't reached my goals yet. I'm not a confident speaker yet. I'm not good at this yet. It's not something I know how to do yet. We can't make that investment yet. I don't have a big network yet. I'm not a full time entrepreneur yet. Do you see how adding the word yet changes the emotion in the meaning behind the sentence? Oh yes. Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. Okay, so this is going to bring us to our seventh and final mindset shift. And that is to challenge the story you are telling yourself. Our minds love to apply a narrative to situations, even if it doesn't know the truth. For example, I can't tell you how many times people thought I was a rude, erratic, jerk driver cutting them off and speeding down the street. They thought I was a jerk, and that's the story they were telling themselves. But here's what they didn't know. I was often driving my mom to the hospital when she was having a severe asthma attack. I wasn't being rude.Jasmine Star (00:21:47) - I was trying to save her life. This is a real story. So how do we challenge the story we tell ourselves? Well, we can assume positive intent next time somebody does something that upsets you or makes you angry, take a step back and assume they had good intentions. This means that we're going to suspend all judgment and try to understand why they might have done what they did. So here's an example. A business coach named John noticed that several of his clients had stopped showing up to his live coaching sessions, and then this made him feel like frustrated. And then he was like, I'm questioning, do I have the ability to lead them? Do they even care? Am I doing something wrong? Eventually, after two months of zero attendance, John decided to challenge the story he was telling himself and assume positive intent instead of jumping to conclusions about hey, why is nobody showing up? He reached out to a few of his clients individually, and then he wanted to try to understand why they stopped joining, why they stopped coming.Jasmine Star (00:22:42) - And John discovered that the time of the call, 3 p.m., his time was 6 p.m. their time, and they were focused on their families. At that time. They told him, you know, John, I'm still watching these classes on a replay of the call, like after the kids go to bed. But then John realized, hey, things can change. Things need to change. So knowing this, he changed the meeting time. And not only did it lead to better attendance, but he retained his clients and deepened trust with him and them because they understood that he's a supportive and understanding coach. The problem was never John. It was never his ability to lead, even though that was the story he was telling him.Jasmine Star (00:23:18) - Self.Jasmine Star (00:23:18) - How often do we tell ourselves a story and not assume positive intent? Okay, so like I said, this year was a big year of reflections and a big year of learning. And I had big mindset shifts that I shared open and vulnerably with you. So now let's take a moment to reflect on them, because I want you to take them going into your next day, week, month, and even year.Jasmine Star (00:23:41) - Number one, replace the need for motivation with momentum. When you catch yourself waiting around for motivation. When I'm waiting for inspiration, no, no. Remember that it's often the act of starting, even with one small step that generates the energy and motivation to keep you moving forward. Number two celebrate continuous improvement and not just big wins. This acknowledges that the effort and the progress that leads to big wins and creating resilience along the way. It's like that little salsa dancing in the kitchen because you're doing the ding work that, my friends, is celebrating. The small wins. Number three embrace non dualistic thinking to help you see the big picture and make better decisions. And you work better with others. It's not black and white, it's a billion shades of gray. Number four remember that being present is a choice. Doing this will help you improve your relationships, reduce stress and improve your focus. And maximize five minutes, 15 minutes, or even an hour in your day. Number five choose an infinite identity.Jasmine Star (00:24:37) - This allows you to grow and evolve instead of holding you back to pass versions of yourself who you no longer are. Yes and Amen. Number six is to apply the power of. Yet one of the simplest things you can do in a sentence is make true change by simply adding. Yet instead of saying I don't have it, that's lack. It's I don't have that yet. That's growth. And finally, number seven, challenge the story you're telling yourself. I want you to assume positive intent and don't allow your mind to make up false narratives. Choose to believe the better story. I hope you enjoyed this episode, and if you would be so kind and leave a review or tag me on stories at Jasmine Star, I often repost them. I respond personally, I send voice memos. I'm just so thankful that you're here. I would love to see what you're doing and you're listening to the podcast. I would love to hear your reviews. I read them all very, very, very much. I read them all very much.Jasmine Star (00:25:28) - Yes, I appreciate them all very much and I read them all. I hope you have a beautiful day. Thank you so much for listening to The Jasmine Star Show. I.