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• (00:00:50) Story teasers
• (00:01:40) Pat had a good time at that Commanders win in Cincy
• (00:05:46) Diddy updates: who’s on the list, what’s up with JLo, and his new roommate Sam Bankman-Fried
• (00:17:00) Caroline Ellison SBF’s gf gets two years in prison and must forfeit 11 billion dollars 
• (00:20:40) Brett Favre has Parkinson’s 
• (00:24:30) The second Trump assassin’s son was busted for underage porn
• (00:26:25) X removes their trend rankings and Cards Against Humanity sues Elon
• (00:28:10) F-22 Raptors shot down maybe UFOs over Canada last year?
• (00:36:25) Ex-NYC Covid czar fired for hosting and attending drug-fueled sex parties
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