Everything Is Real, by Garbage Brain University
In Everything Is Real, Natalie Dee & Drew Toothpaste investigate the conspiracies and strange happenings that peel back the edge of reality. Join Drew (a research chemist) and Natalie (a Ph.D in Metaphysics) as they study the fringes of society. www.garbagebrainuniversity.com
Thu, June 05, 2025
Drew & Natalie Have A Normal Conversation, Episode 13: We Gangstalked A Stranger
* Welcome mats are a conspiracy * Instagram reel mind control * Why they're trying to make us wear cameras * Why people don't realize they're people yet * The end of the world, as predicted on TikTok * Our reincarnation plans * How to get trillions of listeners to your podcast * We gazed into the abyss: what happened next will surprise you * Why men say eyelashes are gay * The world of Looksmaxxing * Gangstalking and how to do it - natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Thu, May 22, 2025
Drew & Natalie Have A Normal Conversation, Episode 12: Why People Hate Thinking
We figured it out, and today we'll tell you why it is that people hate thinking. Also, compulsory social media use, flat earth tariffs, creating garbage for likes, and which former US politician is a werewolf. (You'll have to listen to find out who.) • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Thu, May 08, 2025
Drew & Natalie Have A Normal Conversation, Episode 11: Make Littering A Capital Offense
We talked about Green Up Day, littering, jam, AirBnB, aliens, angels, the void, and a possible entirely scientific explanation for why everyone today seems to be so dumb. If you'd like to hear over 400 more patron-only episodes, subscribe to us for five bucks and you'll get an invite to join our patron-only Discord server as well. • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Thu, April 24, 2025
Drew & Natalie Have A Normal Conversation, Episode 10: Space Dolphins & Weed Easter
We recorded this on Weed Easter, which meant that the pope was still alive at the time of our recording! We also talked about Tiktok conspiracies, Facebook prophecies, switching timelines, and why everything in New England is always closed. This is a free episode, but you can get more by subscribing! We have over 400 patron-only episodes in the archives which are available for the tiny fee of five dollars. Your subscription will help us keep writing and recording: • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Thu, April 10, 2025
Drew & Natalie Have A Normal Conversation, Episode 9: The Worst TikTok Conspiracy Theories
Today, we tell you about the latest crop of conspiracy theories we’ve dug out of the mines of TikTok. We also touch on alternate dimensions, the Shakespeare theory, stocks, Bluesky, and Mud Season. If you’re not a patron yet, we’d love your support! For just five bucks, you can subscribe to hear 400+ patron-only episodes, bonus material, and gain membership to our private Discord server where we plan future episodes and chat with listeners. • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Thu, March 27, 2025
Drew & Natalie Have A Normal Conversation, Episode 8: Scientists at the Pyramids vs. Psychics At The Pyramids
We tell you what psychics found when they remote-viewed the pyramids, and we also tell you what scientists found several hundred meters deep underneath the pyramids last week. We also talk egyptology, Reggae Night, jam bands, pop punk (and their little accents), eating mummies, how to build a skyscraper in the year -1,000,000, and more. • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Thu, March 13, 2025
Drew & Natalie Have A Normal Conversation, Episode 7: What The Elites Are Buying On The Dark Web
Today we talk about Daylight Saving, listening to your body, saunas, wind chill, Peter Caine, Silk Road, the feds, the libs, and what the Elites are buying on the Dark Web™. • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Thu, February 27, 2025
Drew & Natalie Have A Normal Conversation, Episode 6: The Pope & Convenience
In today's free and public Normal Conversation, we talk Catholic schools, meditation, what happened to websites, corporate takeovers, aliens, Natalie's rock, and why so many UFO fans are suddenly pissed off. To get 400+ more patron-only Everything Is Real and Garbage Brain University episodes, subscribe right here: https://www.garbagebrainuniversity.com • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Mon, February 10, 2025
Drew & Natalie Have A Normal Conversation, Episode 5: The Vibes Are Fucked
Today, we talked about football, capitalism, forums, AI, irony, misogyny, UFOs, Jesus, and the worst podcast Drew has ever been a guest on. Listen to sip the tea with us, and subscribe at https://patreon.com/garbagebrainuniversity for over 450 more episodes! • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, January 14, 2025
Drew & Natalie Have A Normal Conversation, Episode 4: Asceticism
Today, we talk about what normal means, lying, taking drugs, magazines, turtle-ing up, Bernie, John Lear, 2027, Lori Bruno, psychics, and more! For over 400 more patron-only episodes of Garbage Brain University and Everything Is Real, subscribe at https://patreon.com/garbagebrainuniversity ! Also, if you haven't seen it yet, grab the new HELL ORBS album by Drew & Dendy Crew at https://dendycrew.bandcamp.com - 30 minutes of Drew's vocals over classic Dendy Crew production styles. • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, December 10, 2024
Drew & Natalie Have A Normal Conversation, Episode 3: Class War
Today we're talking about the only war you should ever support! We also get into Europeans, The Claims Adjuster, AI, Natalie's hospital story, insurance companies, the media's manipulation of us as readers, and why you can't twist a class issue to be a political one. • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Mon, November 04, 2024
Drew & Natalie Have A Normal Conversation, Episode 2: The Horror Of Turning Over A New Leaf
We talk about tomorrow's election, podcasting for money, Gaza, The Washington Post, perfectionism, starting a cult, billionaires, and the horror of turning over a new leaf. This is our second attempt at having a normal conversation. Let us know how we did by posting in our Discord server (you get a link when you sign up!) and hear our other, less normal 400+ episodes right here when you subscribe. • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Thu, October 10, 2024
Drew & Natalie Have A Normal Conversation, Episode 1
In the first episode of our new series, enjoy our attempts to have a normal conversation. We talk about "convenience," student loans, class in America, Shakespeare, P. Diddy, Antarctica, and explain the concept of The Shame Doula. • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Thu, September 05, 2024
Everything Is Real: Weird August 2024
This month, we read Luis Elizondo's book "Imminent" so you wouldn't have to (it's not great!) Inside, we found that his years-long claim of having new information to disclose about UFOs and aliens was almost completely false. But he did admit to running Guantánamo Bay, the notorious torture camp where the US Government still holds prisoners to this day! Find out everything else we learned about Lue Elizondo's grift by listening to this episode, which is free for the public. • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Mon, August 05, 2024
Everything Is Real Presents: Weird July 2024
Welp, it turns out that Morgellons is actually aliens. That's not great! Plus: Black Sabbath bassist visited by orb, Van Halen member visited by orb, Bob Dylan visited by devil or alien, and much more. It's Weird July and it's free for you to listen to right now. Please subscribe to our Patreon, by the way. It’s at https://patreon.com/garbagebrainuniversity and it keeps us writing and recording Garbage Brain University for you. Your subscription gets you over 400 patron-only episodes plus access to our subscriber-only Discord! • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Wed, July 03, 2024
Everything Is Real Presents: Weird June 2024
We share the weirdest stories from June with you, including the world of secret fungus, the alien intervention in NASA exploration, one weird tip to stop an alien abduction, and much more. • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, June 04, 2024
Everything Is Real Presents: Weird May 2024
Karl Nell, former U.S. Army Colonel, admits that non-human intelligence is real, and on Earth. • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Mon, May 06, 2024
Everything Is Real Presents: Weird April 2024
Scientists agree with what we've been telling you for years: animals are conscious and have subjective experiences! We tell you why they came to this conclusion, along with the tales of animals which not only proved to be conscious - but telepathic. Also, we talk about Mothman, omens and prognostication, the mathematical basis of the universe, entropy, unidentified garbage bag objects, and more. This is a free public episode, like all our Weird Month episodes, but if you'd like to hear 400+ more episodes and join our patron-only discord, hit us with a subscription at https://patreon.com/garbagebrainuniversity and we'll do the rest. • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Wed, April 03, 2024
Everything Is Real Presents: Weird March 2024
This month, we explore the return of the monolith in Wales, the brand-new (more realistic) alien bodies in Peru, the alien handwriting disclosed by an American lawyer, and dozens of other topics. Our Weird Month episodes are free for the public, but if you'd like to hear 400+ more humor-based episodes about aliens, the occult, quantum physics, the paranormal, and so forth, become a Patron. You'll also get access to our private Discord and more. It's all right here: • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, March 05, 2024
Everything Is Real Presents: Weird February 2024
We recap everything weird that happened this month in the world of aliens, consciousness, quantum physics, and more. Patrons get 400+ Everything Is Real and Garbage Brain University episodes, as well as access to our private subscriber discord, so if you haven't become a patron yet, now's the time! • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, January 30, 2024
Everything Is Real Presents: Weird January 2024
Today begins our new series, where we examine the UFO, alien, paranormal, and otherwise weird events of the month, and fill you in on what they mean. This month, we talk about the Jellyfish UFO, aliens at the mall in Miami, what real scientists think about Neil Degrasse Tyson, extra dimensions, alien disclosure, the Department of Defense, and more. This episode is FREE for everyone to listen to, but we’d love your support to keep making Weird Months and our weekly patron-only episodes! Head to https://patreon.com/garbagebrainuniversity to become a paid subscriber, which gives you access to our patron-only Discord server and over 400 episodes you’ve never heard. • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Thu, July 27, 2023
Everything Is Real, Episode 57: Aliens Are Officially Real
The whistleblower David Grusch testified under oath to Congress yesterday that there has been a secret UFO retrieval program going on for decades, and that the US government has retrieved both alien craft and alien bodies. We talk you through the implications of this, along with the question no one else is asking, let alone answering: Is David Grusch an alien himself? Listen now and find out. If you’re not a patron of GBU yet, this would be an excellent time for you to do so. Our last few months of episodes have been for patrons only, and you’ve missed over 200 patron-only episodes! Your membership also comes with an invitation to our exclusive, patron-only Discord server. Become a patron right here, right now by clicking this button: • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Wed, June 07, 2023
Everything Is Real, Episode 50: Aliens Are Real
This week, whistleblower David Grusch revealed the existence of a secret US program to retrieve crashed alien spacecraft, and it goes back further than you’d think. In today’s episode, we tell you what he revealed, what it means in the context of the post-2019 alien disclosure program, and where all of this is headed. Today’s episode is free, but this year, we’re saving most of our episodes for patrons only. You can become a patron, enabling you to hear our entire archive (including 170 patron-only episodes of Garbage Brain University and Everything Is Real) for only five bucks by Subscribing here: • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, February 07, 2023
Everything Is Real, Episode 32: The Battle Over LA Was Real, And The Aliens Won
What happens when you shoot a UFO 1,400 times and it flies off without complaint, in front of thousands of onlookers? The Battle Of LA took place in 1942, and reveals the bizarre nature of unidentified aerial phenomena. We give you the evidence, including a strikingly similar case from over 400 years ago, and let you decide whether or not it was “just a weather balloon.” You should really become a patron of GBU / Everything Is Real if you haven’t already, btw! You’ll get 180 episodes you’ve never heard, and membership in our Discord server, where we work together twice a week to answer the standing question in every episode. (Membership is restricted to patrons, so there aren’t any randos.) • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, January 31, 2023
Everything Is Real, Episode 30: Crystal Skulls Are Real
Unearthed in Belize in the 1920s, this crystal skull purportedly imbued its owner with powers and enabled her to live to the age of exactly 100. We find out the truth behind this famous skull and others unearthed over time, and reveal the legend of what happens when all 13 of these skulls are reunited. Becoming a patron of GBU/Everything Is Real gives you access to twice as many episodes as free subscribers, and allows you entrance into the mystical GBU Discord server. Convert your free subscription to a paying patronage by clicking this button, and join us: • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, January 24, 2023
Everything Is Real, Episode 28: The Dodleston Messages Were Real
In 1984-5, a schoolteacher began receiving messages on his computer from a man living in 1574… and, then, messages from someone in the year 2109. We examine this, and the related paranormal activity surrounding the arrival of Ye Mysticyl Boxxe Of Lightes Upon Which A Manne Can Engrave Lettyrs, in today’s Everything Is Real. Not a patron? We need your help to continue researching, writing, and recording these episodes! You’ll be rewarded with our secret discussion area as well as over 170 episodes that only paying patrons are allowed to hear. Join us now by pressing this button: • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, January 17, 2023
Everything Is Real, Episode 26: The Stargate Of Iraq Is Real
The famous Ziggurat of Ur may contain a wormhole (“stargate”) that allows travel through time and space. Did the US wage the Iraq war to take control of it? Where are the other wormholes? And why did the Sumerians build it in the first place? We investigate these questions, plus what happens when the EMP destroys all of our data, why you can put trash in a wormhole, why Natalie hates outer space, and why Einstein would have hated all of this. Not a patron? You’ve missed our investigations of the real Men In Black, apes with psychedelic mushrooms, a time-traveling battleship, and instructions on how to summon an alien with sex magic. Become a paying patron now for these as well as 170 episodes you’ve never heard and access to our subscriber Discord to discuss these topics and more. • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, January 10, 2023
Everything Is Real, Episode 24: The Travis Walton Abduction Is Real
The Travis Walton abduction case is one of the most well-documented of the 1970s, and today, we dig into the evidence. Why did the aliens heal him aboard their craft? Who was paid off to “debunk” the case? And what was network television’s motive in having him play a game show, decades later? We reveal all this and more in today’s free episode. Not a paying subscriber? You should become one. Not only will you support us researching, writing, and recording Everything Is Real, but you’ll get access to our entire backcatalogue of over 170 episodes of GBU + EIR and membership in our exclusive Discord server. Join us now. • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Mon, January 02, 2023
Everything Is Real, Episode 22: The Hopkinsville Goblin Is Real
Today, we bring you the Hopkinsville Goblin case, one of the most compelling extraterrestrial/interdimensional beings discovered in the 20th century. For hours, these goblins tormented a farm family in rural Kentucky. Where were they from? How did they get here? And how did Pokemon take this famous cryptid sighting and turn it into Sableye? We answer these questions and more in today’s Everything Is Real. You can help us continue to research, write, and record GBU/Everything Is Real by becoming a patron, a sponsor, or a paying subscriber. Not only will you get full access to our discussion channels, but you’ll hear over 170 episodes that are only for paying members. Do it now. • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, December 13, 2022
Everything Is Real, Episode 19: John Titor Is Real
John Titor came from the year 2036 and may have changed our timeline. He was a child soldier who fought in the New American Civil War, and predicted the Y2K disaster, Mad Cow Disease, and World War III. Did he change our timeline? Is the current state of affairs the result of meddling in cosmic destiny by a soldier from the not-so-far-flung future? We reveal everything in today’s episode of Everything Is Real. We need you to become a paid patron so that we can continue to make GBU/EIR. Please join us using this button or the address at the end of the episode! • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Mon, December 05, 2022
Everything Is Real, Episode 17: Nazis In Antarctica Are Real
After WWII, the Nazis dispersed across the earth like dandelion fluff. Did some of them end up in Antarctica? We investigate today, along with the details on Operation Paperclip, Bob Lazar’s involvement in Nazi technology, foo fighters (the UFOs, not the band,) the Nazi UFO crash in 1965, Operation Highjump, why the toothbrush moustache is coming back, and why people are always so naïve. Please consider upgrading your subscription to the paid level ($5/mo!) It’s not much money but it will help us continue to research, write, and record Everything Is Real. You’ll get full access to over 170 paid episodes you’ve never heard, plus membership in our secret Discord community. Have friends? Consider gifting them a year of paid GBU as a present this year, using this very button. Your gift sub lets them get all the benefits of regular membership, but you’ll pay for it instead of them. It sounds wonderful to be your friend. • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, November 29, 2022
Everything Is Real, Episode 15: Opening A Portal To Summon Aliens With Sex Magic Is Real
The portal that Jack Parsons and Aleister Crowley opened may have ushered in the age of UFOs... and may have been the first sighting of what most call a "grey alien" today. We went deep on the rituals they used to do this, investigated the links between alien sex rituals and quantum mechanics, and tell you how to summon an alien yourself. For more Everything Is Real (you haven’t heard 7 of our patron-only episodes!) and Garbage Brain University (165 patron-only episodes,) you’ll need to upgrade to a paid membership. Hit the button and you’ll get all the extras. • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, November 15, 2022
Everything Is Real, Episode 13: Marian Apparitions Are Real
What is a Marian apparition? What should you do if one appears to you? And why does the Virgin Mary tell you the same things that aliens do when they appear? We’ve put together compelling evidence that the Virgin Mary apparitions seen around the world are, in fact, extraterrestrial beings. Listen now. If you missed our episode on why the Galactic Federation is real (#12) that’s because you’re not a patron yet! Convert your subscription from free to paid now (with this button) and you’ll get twice as many episodes as free subscribers, plus access to our private Discord server where you can share your own ratings with hundreds of other Everything Is Real listeners: • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, November 08, 2022
Everything Is Real, Episode 11: Bigfoot Is Real
Bigfoot has been part of human culture since prehistory, and we dig into the mysteries surrounding this legendary creature in today’s Everything Is Real. If you’re interested in Sasquatch, you’ve already picked apart the Paterson Film and read about Ray Wallace, but we go deeper, investigating Bigfoot’s ties to Hinduism, extraterrestrials, conscious manifestation, and more. If you’re not a patron yet, join us by converting your free membership (you only hear half our episodes) into a paid sub. Your small contribution entitles you to the full archive of over 160 patron-only episodes, plus access to our private Discord community. See you there. • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Mon, October 31, 2022
Everything Is Real, Episode 9: Your Sadness Is Food For Aliens
We investigated the idea that archons are using the negative emotions of Planet Earth (“loosh”) as food. Reptilians, aliens, interdimensional entities, Annunaki, and who knows what else may be sucking down your very own sadness for their own uses. We consulted Robert Monroe, the Nag Hammadi, simulation theory, fractal similarities, biological evidence, and human history to find out more. Become a patron of GBU and you’ll learn even more, with an extra episode ONLY for patrons for every free episode we release, plus access to our listener community, GBU Bake Off, and group games. Plus, if you want to leave your own score on whether or not you think each episode’s topic is real, you’ve gotta be a member. Slam this button or visit the URL at the end of each episode to become a patron. • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Mon, October 24, 2022
Everything Is Real Episode 7: Spontaneous Human Combustion Is Real
Today, we learn how people spontaneously catch on fire, and why. Join us as we review the history of spontaneous human combustion from the 1400s to the present day, discuss the thermodynamic viability of a human catching fire, and lay out the evidence for why spontaneous human combustion is real. You can help us keep making GBU and Everything Is Real by shelling out five bucks a month. You missed Episode 6 (celebrity impostors), Episode 4 (Atlantis), Episode 2 (the Large Hadron Collider) and over 150 episodes of GBU. Become a paying subscriber now and reap the benefits. • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Mon, October 17, 2022
Everything Is Real, Episode 5: The Georgia Guidestones Revealed The New World Order's Plan
The Georgia Guidestones were blown up this year, presumably by activists who believed they were part of a plot involving mass depopulation and eugenics. But were they really? We dug into the hidden history of the Guidestones, their builders, their message, and revealed who really wanted these things wiped from the face of the earth. Half of our Everything Is Real episodes are for patrons only (you’ve missed our reveal of where Atlantis is today, and how the Large Hadron Collider actually destroyed our universe!) Plus, a patronage lets you score each episode yourself in Discord and chat about topics near and far with hundreds of other listeners. To become a part of our inner circle and suggest new episodes of Everything Is Real, you’ll need to become a patron by hitting this button or going to The Other Site Where You Can Be A Patron Of Artists: • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Mon, October 10, 2022
Everything Is Real, Episode 3: The Royal Family Isn't Fully Human
Why do people think the royal family isn’t fully human? We investigate the rumors and facts surrounding the House Of Windsor, including their infallibility to human law, the alien-human hybridization program, their mysterious health problems, vampirism, and the bombshell discovery that ties the Royal Family to the political structure of the USA. If you haven’t joined our patron program already, you missed last week’s episode about the Large Hadron Collider destroying the universe. And if you don’t join now, you’ll miss half of all future Everything Is Real episodes. They’re only for paying patrons! That’s how we fund the writing, research, recording and editing of this whole operation. Won’t you please join us now? (using either this button below, or The Other Site Where You Can Subscribe To Garbage Brain University?) * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Mon, October 03, 2022
Everything Is Real, Episode 1: Reality
Whoa! Everything Is Real! In today’s episode, we’re talking about dreams that predict reality, ontology, the history of questioning reality, why you can’t trust your eyes, materialism, idealism, Descartes, Monty Hall, Einstein, simulation theory, monks who dream, and what happens outside of the present moment. Everything Is Real is brought to you by Garbage Brain University (obviously.) Subscribe if you want to hear future episodes which are available for paying members only! Five bucks gets you access to the entire GBU archive (150 episodes that aren’t available until you join) and access to all paid episodes in the future, as well as our community Discord. • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Mon, September 26, 2022
GBU 312: Llamas: The Double Man Of South America
What are llamas? Are they bussin? Why do people use them for therapy? What is it like to be a llama? And why are they two of people? We answer your deepest, darkest llama questions in today’s episode. Also: You need to upgrade to being a patron, so you can get our next miniseries, which starts NEXT WEEK. You’re missing half of the episodes we record and post, too, if you’re not a patron/paid subscriber. Hit the brown button here or go you-know-where to become a patron. • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Mon, September 19, 2022
GBU 310: Thinking About Cube Man
Air: it’s all over! We talked about what’s in it (magically and otherwise) but more importantly, we bring you the unheard story of Cube Man. You’ll have to listen to understand why. Not a paying patron/subscriber? You need to do that, because you missed our cat episode (GBU 309) which you’ll only get if you pay, along with over 150 other paid episodes. Pay now please. Thank you. • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Mon, September 12, 2022
GBU 308: How To Make Infinite Axolotls
Axolotl genes, touching animals, hairless cats, how to regrow an eyeball (if you’re a human,) how to regrow other stuff (if you’re an axolotl,) and the weird experiments people have done with axolotls. Plus, the one weird secret you actually for sure didn’t know about axolotls! Listen now. Are you not a patron yet? You need to hop on that soon (hit that button above to convert your free “i get this email” into an actual patronage of GBU!) You’ll get the 150 episodes you haven’t heard, plus access to our secret group chat. * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Mon, August 29, 2022
GBU 305: What Is A Nut? Why Am I In This Body?
We answer all your questions about nuts and inhabiting a corporeal form on today’s GBU. “Wait! Natalie and Drew! You didn’t answer my question! I didn’t even know I could ask questions to be included on the show!” That’s because you’re not in our Discord. Follow the instructions in the episode or click the “Upgrate To Paid” button to join us there. • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Mon, August 22, 2022
GBU 303: It's Not A Poopflap, It's An Erotic Buttflap
We learn about laundry today, from ancient to modern times. Plus: why you don't have to wash your pants, what you can (and can't) throw away, the Soylent guy and his Engineer Brain, terpenes, soap, and what happens when you eat a mango like an apple. Not subscribed? Do that if you want in on our live trivia matches, chat room, and the 150 patron-only episodes you haven’t heard yet. Click the “Subscribe Now” button below or go You Know Where to become a patron. • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, August 16, 2022
GBU 301: Galoshes, Raincoat and an Upbrella
Cigarette breaks, parasols, why Drew always has an umbrella, why Natalie never does, basements, golf, umbrella-based weapons, fake cigarettes, and the like. Feeling like you’re missing something? You are. As a non-patron you’re only getting half of the possible Garbage Brain University episodes. To listen to the 150(!) episodes you’ve missed, as well as play our live trivia game and chat with other patrons, hit the Subscribe Now button or go to the URL we always say in the episode: • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Mon, August 01, 2022
GBU 298: You Are Forever Bonded To The Bugs You Kill
Flies: our opinions on them, your opinions on them, what to do about the Antarctica Problem, how they relate to Einstein’s Theory of Relativity, why they eat shit, how to train mice, why maggots may be Actually Good, and more. Hey, if you’re not a subscriber, now is probably the time, because we could use your help to keep GBU going! Hit the “Subscribe Now” button here, or support us in another appropriate fashion (we’re literally not allowed to link to any other subscription site in this description, but you know where it is!) Also, the MOTHMAN shirts are back at https://thenewsharingmachine.com if you haven’t seen them yet! (We’re allowed to link to that, but not our other site where you can subscribe to GBU! Weird! Oh well!) • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Mon, July 25, 2022
GBU 296: The Awful Truth About Cookies
How to be a parent in the 1980s, getting the runs, Humbos (new invention,) the Drinky Rink, and more cookie-based experiences and inventions, all for you, today. Subscribing here or elsewhere gives you access to the Discord, which is our members-only live trivia game and chat room. Join now and you can discuss today’s episode live with Drew & Natalie. Oh, also! Have you seen our new and old-but-redesigned shirts available in sizes small through 5XL? Check them out at thenewsharingmachine.com . It’s like the shirts we used to sell, but available to more people, in higher quality. Kind of hard to beat that. • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, July 19, 2022
GBU 294: Who Are Your Neighbors?
What makes a neighbor a neighbor? What makes a suburb a suburb? Why do they keep putting those five-story buildings made out of toothpicks everywhere? And how do you manipulate city council to do your bidding? These, and thousands of other questions, are answered in this very episode. Subscribe now to keep us writing, researching, and recording Garbage Brain University, please. Also, if you haven’t seen, we have another redesign of a classic shirt. This comic goes viral every year or two and it’s time to bring it on back. Check it out (along with a dozen other new and old Natalie & Drew designs) at https://thenewsharingmachine.com . • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, July 12, 2022
GBU 292: The Allure Of Being By Yourself
Hot dogs are America’s favorite dog, like it or not! We talk pork, beef, and vegetable dogs, along with eating from the bulk bins, why humans can’t figure out how to eat, the art of splitting something exactly in half, and why no one would ever vote for Natalie. Also: the allure of being by yourself. You’ll have to listen to this one. We’ve been playing trivia a few times a day in the Discord, so if live trivia is your thing (and it probably is, you’re listening to Garbage Brain University) you can become a patron of GBU and receive this on top of the 140 patron episodes you’ve never heard! Also, hey: Drew redesigned the Creative Process shirt and it’s available in our shirt store. Not aware we had a shirt store? You are now. https://thenewsharingmachine.com • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Thu, June 30, 2022
GBU 290: Dropping A Goose Egg Down The Drain
When’s the last time you went bowling? We talked about improving this ancient game, why presidents love it, how to use Flonase the right way (not how you think!) and how Drew once dated a cake farter. Help us keep making GBU by subscribing (you’re missing half our episodes!) • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, June 21, 2022
GBU 288: Stargate, Remote Viewing & The CIA
In today’s long-awaited episode, we cover remote viewing, the CIA, the Stargate program, the simulation we’re probably stuck inside, apps that let you remote view, and why you’re mostly not human to begin with. All of the supplemental materials to today’s show are posted to Discord, where other listeners are talking about remote viewing at this very moment, along with a dozen other things. If you’re not a Discord member, now is the perfect time to join. Hit the “subscribe now” button for access or inquire at any place you listen to GBU. • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, June 07, 2022
GBU 285: If You Ate A Worm, Would You Suck All The Dirt Out Of Its Asshole First?
Centipedes! They’re mysterious, and good for the earth even if they’re disgusting. Actually, they might not be good for the earth. They might be woated. Patrons (paid subscribers) get more than free members, like over 140 episodes that are patron-only and our Discord community with bonus content and extras (as well as a chat room.) Subscribe now to get access. • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, May 24, 2022
GBU 282: Why Don't People Do Anything Anymore?
Cue the stock circus music! We dive into the history of circuses, and the history of people doing dumb things outside of the circus. On top of the very most obvious aspects of circuses, we covered cow bingo, togas, circus aesthetics, object manipulation, and the crowning question of all: Why Don’t People Do Anything Anymore? Subscribe/become a patron now and you’ll be just in time for MAYLIEN, our miniseries about alien landings, close encounters, alien shootouts underground, and the government’s alien secrets. (Plus 140 other episodes you’ve never heard because you aren’t a subscriber!) MAYLIEN and our premium episodes are only for paying listeners, so hit the $5 button, please. • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, May 17, 2022
GBU 280: Jellyfish: No Jelly, No Fish
Eating wildlife raw, monetizing jellyfish, and how jellyfish even move around in the first place. Also: why some of them are immortal, what they do all day, what mysteries they keep in their sacs and nodules, and what baby chicks have to do with all of this. You’re missing MAYLIEN, our groundbreaking miniseries on aliens, if you’re not subscribed. A subscription/patronage to GBU gives you full access to all 140 episodes you haven’t heard, including ALIENTEMBER (our first alien miniseries) as well as MAYLIEN and the standard premium episodes. Do that now: • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Wed, May 11, 2022
GBU 278: How To Have Emotions
Emotions: experiments, how to keep them mellow, how to Ben Franklin them, and more. But more importantly: You are seriously fucking up right now by not subscribing/becoming a patron, because RIGHT THIS MOMENT, we’re running a new miniseries called MAYLIEN. For the entire month of May, subscribers and patrons get our deep look into Roswell, close encounters, underground alien battles, landings, and all the rest. Subscribe now to hear them as they come out (you’ll also get 139 episodes you haven’t heard and instant access to Discord.) • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Mon, May 02, 2022
GBU 276: All Castles Are Big
Why the Cincinnati Castle is for idiots! Also: White Castle, sandcastles, bunkers, moats, woods, and all of the dirty business of castles, old and new. Please subscribe so that we can continue to pay the Garbage Brain University research team and write/record these episodes! You’ll get over 130 episodes you haven’t heard, plus access to our secret Discord server. • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, April 26, 2022
GBU 274: How Smart Are Spiders?
Why nothing humans make will last, why spiders are the worst bugs, why people perceive almost nothing, how spiders make silk, the ongoing cloaca situation, and what humans could do if we could make thread. Plus Imposter Syndrome, aliens changing our DNA, and the true purpose of all the plastic we make, micro or macro. Please subscribe, by the way. Your five bucks would keep us researching, writing and recording Garbage Brain University: • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, April 12, 2022
GBU 272: Weddings Are All The Same
Blood tests, birds exploding, and other reasons not to like weddings. Hit the “subscribe now” button to access the 136 paid episodes plus our Discord chatroom. • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, April 05, 2022
GBU 270: What Kind Of Race Would You Be In?
Pigeon races, camel races, racewalking, swimming, nude biking, and all the other races that have ever existed. Which one would you be in? If you’re not a patron/subscriber you’re missing 135 premium-only episodes which you can access immediately by clicking the “Subscribe Now” button: • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, March 29, 2022
GBU 268: I Would Only Eat The Bad Guys
Would you become a cannibal? We talk about all the important parts of cannibalism: bioaccumulation, taste, Big Lurch, Christ Bearer, and chickens eating chickens. Also, prions, pour-overs, and the shit tree. Not a subscriber? Support GBU by giving us five dollars and you’ll be rewarded with 134 paid-patron-only episodes plus access to our secret Discord: • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, March 22, 2022
GBU 266: The Hippo-Dolphin Connection
People love hippos… but should they? We look deeply into the hippo-dolphin connection, why they spray feces, why Drew doesn’t believe in wind chill, and why people love the lowest common denominator. Also: GG Allin, ancient zoos, muting people, and sleeping in the bathtub. Please consider supporting GBU since you listen to it and love it. A patronage here or elsewhere is only $5 and gives you instant access to 133 episodes you’ve never heard plus our secret Discord chatroom: • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, March 15, 2022
GBU 264: Human Telepathy Was Intentionally Removed
But first, books: what came before them? Who invented them (not Gutenberg, obviously?) Who invented spaces between words? Why did the Roman Empire fall? Why are we here? What comes after this? In ten, a thousand, a million, a trillion years? Subscribe now (instant access to the 132 odd-numbered episodes you’ve never heard) please. • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, March 08, 2022
GBU 262: The Best And Worst Emojis, Ranked
Emojis, in their short life online, have accomplished a lot. We talked our favorite emojis, “internet tone,” why they don’t have a nose, passive aggression, why the smiley face is copyrighted, Natalie’s idea for a mobile game, and 🆗. Not subscribed? You’re missing half of our episodes and our secret chat-room/group-game hub. Subscribe now to join us. • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Mon, February 28, 2022
GBU 260: A Caterpillar, A Worm With A Dream
Hey, we’ve gotta talk about something important: we need your help to keep making Garbage Brain University, and the only way you can help is by becoming a patron/subscriber. Hit the “Subscribe Now” button and you’ll be instantly rewarded with 130 subscriber-only episodes, but you’ll also have helped us to continue researching, writing, and recording two of these every week. Anyway! Are caterpillars conscious? When is it time to leave society? What part of your DNA are you, really, if any? What happened when scientists gave people an extra thumb? And much more. • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Mon, February 21, 2022
GBU 258: Twins: The Lazy Man's Family
How many twins are there? Why do mammals have them? And what goes down at the Kentucky Pig Derby? We answer questions on these, dox the Dick Boys, and Drew creates a plan for neighbors to raise children more efficiently. All in today’s free episode. Want to listen to the episodes we publish for subscribers only? The 129 full-length episodes you’ve never heard? You should know how to do that by now, but if not, you can hit this “Subscribe Now” button for instant access to our whole backcatalogue. • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, February 15, 2022
GBU 256: The Shittiest Holidays
Welcome to the shitty holiday season! We talked about why they’re usually on Monday, why Natalie likes Flag Day, why Drew hates the flag, mini eggs, Bezos, Columbus Day, Jack Nicklaus, and the secret of the Seychelles. Please subscribe so that we may continue making more of these: • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, February 08, 2022
GBU 254: Anteaters Don't Have Star Power
Anteaters: I don’t like the look of them! Giant anteaters, silky anteaters, what the Wall Street Journal thinks of us, why Salvador Dali had an anteater, how they make more anteaters, and all about their insanely weird tongue. Subscribe now to help us keep making more Garbage Brain University! • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, February 01, 2022
GBU 252: Nobody Was In Love With Flavor Flav
What is Reality Television? We take a look at the metaphysics of reality television, the Great Reality TV Con, linguistic shifts in confined populations, cops, and give you the details of our brand-new reality TV show. Subscribe to hear more episodes & join our community: • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Mon, January 24, 2022
GBU 250: Tricking Animals With Plastic Animals
Get in touch with dirt! Natalie & Drew talk about gardening, plastic animals, rosemary, the heaven of a huge dirt pile, and what happens when you buy a raw whole chicken from Amazon. You’re still listening to us talk and it’s been 250 episodes, so you clearly love it, and we dearly need your support, and you’ll get twice as many episodes, so please subscribe now. Hit this brown button: • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Mon, January 17, 2022
GBU 248: What's The Biggest Animal You'd Throw In The Garbage?
Having a great time with lizards! (Just kidding, lizards aren’t any fun.) Why Natalie doesn’t want to touch them, what Drew’s lizard was like, a lizard quiz, and the answers to all the lizard questions you’ve ever had. Subscribe and you’ll keep us making more (and hear the 124 episodes that you have to pay to hear.) • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Mon, January 10, 2022
GBU 246: Have You Ever Kissed A Beaver?
What do beavers smell like? Who is more pious, Drew or Natalie? And how do you hold a beaver? Also: high risk texting, beaver dams, human nature, Jeff Bezos’s space lie, Keyboard Cat, zoomer pants, and thousands of other facts and ideas. Subscribe for more. • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Mon, January 03, 2022
GBU 244: Plumbing
Welcome to 2022! We talk septic tanks, garbage disposals, not pooping on trips, boycotts, pony kegs, and why we’re not any smarter than ancient people. Also: the first quiz of the year! Subscribe for more episodes (there are over 120 you haven’t heard.) • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, December 14, 2021
GBU 242: We're Never Going To Time Travel
Time loss! Time dilation! And actual time travel. We talk about these as well as aliens’ ability to time travel, the Vatican’s chronovisor, John Titor, magick as relating to the wave function, gravitational waves, time as a single point, and the rat experiment that may have proved global consciousness is possible. Not a subscriber? You’re missing the deepest and best episodes we have (over 120 now!) which are only available to subscribers. Consider helping us continue to write and record GBU with a subscription! • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Mon, December 06, 2021
GBU 240: Magicians
Natalie & Drew go inside the secret world of magicians to find out: Why are they so corny? Why do they want to impress people so much? What secret club did Drew try to join fruitlessly for years? Also: Clothesless yoga, cat circuses, Tom Of Finland, steampunks, and the worst kind of monologue you have to hear constantly. Subscribe if you haven’t already! You’ll get access to our secret social-media hideout as well as 120 episodes which are only available to subscribers. • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Mon, November 29, 2021
GBU 238: If Nothing Is Real, Everything Is Real
Fairies: the little guys who are sneaky beepers. What are they? What do they look like? And what do they do all day? We answer these plus over 18,000 other questions you didn’t ask in today’s episode. Please consider subscribing to help us continue making GBU, if you haven’t already: * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, November 16, 2021
GBU 236: What Do Sloths Smell Like?
Modern sloths, ancient sloths, sloth metabolism, sloths in the water, sloths eating, sloth facts, all amazingly fast and capable compared to nature’s slowest boy, the Sloth. If you haven’t already, please become a patron/subscriber today so that we can keep making GBU. You’ll get a ton of episodes you haven’t heard, plus our eternal goodwill, which is available nowhere else for this low price. • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, November 09, 2021
GBU 234: Turds: The Junk Of The Butt
Today’s special GBU episode is about turds: how they’re used, why they look the way they do, paying for poop, getting paid to poop, shitting on the moon, and hundreds more facts. Missed episode 233, 231, 229, and all the other odd-numbered eps? That’s because you don’t subscribe. Do that now & you’ll also keep us making GBU! • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Wed, November 03, 2021
GBU 232: There's Always Poop To Eat
All about shrimp: what they do, why their tails are like that, and why people eat them so much. Plus: being old! Being reborn! Shrimp Lips! Shrimp holidays! Eating bugs! And a harrowing tale at the very end of the episode you can’t miss (so don’t close it as soon as we say Harlem Township.) Subscribing gets you all the benefits we’ve promised for years, plus a community of fellow listeners and the knowledge that by giving us five bucks we will never make NFTs or something else equally foolish. So please do that. Bye, • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, October 26, 2021
GBU 230: Maybe You’re A Ghost In Your House And You’re Haunting The Alive People Who Live There Now
Think about it. Also: why aliens want human bones, investigating haunted houses, using poppers, measuring ghosts, and why the earth is full of skeletons. Our latest in the spooky Halloween episodes (have you noticed the trend?) Subscribe if you missed the odd-numbered episodes, of which there are 115 at this point, including many spooky Halloween topics. • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Mon, October 18, 2021
GBU 228: Is A Werewolf A Furry?
HALLOWEEN SEASON IS HERE! Today we’re talking werewolves, but also: how to become a werewolf, why a werewolf might have depression, putting on the wolf belt, werewolves on trial, and L. Ron Hubbard. Not subscribed? Please do that • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, October 12, 2021
GBU 226: Owls And Danzig
Natalie & Drew unearth ancient Danzig lore, and explain how owls fly. Also: What are owls? Who is Danzig? Why does he hate wigs? What happens when you show your boobs on a podcast? And why does THIS guy have a raven as a pet? Also owl facts. Subscribing helps us keep making GBU and gives you access to the 113 episodes you’ve never heard as well as our Discord chat room. Join us! • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, October 05, 2021
GBU 224: Anything Good Doesn't Need An Advertisement
The history of the world’s shittiest field of pursuit: advertising! Why it sucks, why they’re everywhere, and why anything good doesn’t need an advertisement. Plus: Esperanto, brand managers, strip club advertising, and how we trapped an ancient man on earth by talking about his ads. Not a subscriber? You can fix that immediately. Please click this: • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, September 28, 2021
GBU 222: Impressing Jodie Foster
Today! All the information on the POTUS you KNOWTUS and some you might not have already knowntus. Plus: Why all politicians are psycho, how presidents die, the Crypt Keeper, why rap and America are intertwined yet rap about America sucks beyond words, anarchists, and, of course, how to impress Jodie Foster. Subscribe now for the 111 episodes you’ve never heard, plus our group gaming and memes on Discord: * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, September 21, 2021
GBU 220: Tom Cruise: The Movie Star's Movie Star
It’s Tom Cruise time! We dig up over a thousand Tom Cruise facts you’ve never heard, and reveal that, unbeknownst to anyone, he’s been a book star this whole time, not a movie star. Not a subscriber? You need to do that if you want the 110 premium episodes you’ve never heard! ($5.00) • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, September 07, 2021
GBU 218: You Need To Become Enlightened Because You Don't Want To Be Reincarnated On This Shitplanet
Candle thoughts. Candle meditation. Making smores with candles. Over 4,700 candle facts and stories. Plus: Artificial fragrance, why you don’t need to give notice when you quit your job, why people are never happy, and why the unenlightened hate Ohio. Please consider, at this point, on episode 218 of this podcast that you’ve been listening to for over two years, a subscription. Your five dollars allows us to continue doing this, and we would appreciate it: See you next week (subscribers only) or in two weeks (non-subscribing misser-outers) * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Mon, August 30, 2021
GBU 216: Your Bodily Fluids
It turns out you’re mostly fluid. A juice box, really. It’s an indignity, and we’re talking about it today. Venture inside the human body’s fluids with Drew and Natalie. This episode was suggested by hromi on Discord - if you’re not a Discord member, and you want to suggest future episodes to us or just join to chat, subscribe now! You’ll also hear the 108 subscriber-only episodes that are locked up for a measly five bucks (that’s 4.6 CENTS per episode.) You can’t say that’s not a bargain. Subscribe. * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Mon, August 23, 2021
GBU 214: Childhood Games Are Better Than The Olympics
What did kids do before Mindcraft and T-Pose? Natalie & Drew take a look at the bizarre world of antiquated childrens’ games, such as Duck On A Rock, British Bulldogs, Conkers, Dandy Shandy, Don’t Lick The Chalice, Jackin Balls, and thousands more. Not a subscriber? Please do that now so we can keep podcasting. Thank you. * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, August 17, 2021
GBU 212: Animals Eat People; Would You?
Natalie & Drew go deep on animals that eat people. Snakes, birds, fish, cats, and even people eat people. Plus: the bizarre world of Peter Caine, what Bigfoot tastes like, and how to develop a taste for human flesh. Not a subscriber? That’s almost as stupid as not getting vaccinated for SARS-CoV-2, the novel coronavirus which has killed 623,000 Americans to date. Unlike the vaccine, a subscription costs money, but pay it please. Until next week (non-subscribers) or later this week (subscribers get twice as many episodes.) * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, August 10, 2021
GBU 210: Battle Of The Podcasters' Nipples
Natalie explains how she won a national dance competition! Drew tells you why disco is, despite what your parents told you, great music. And we also talked square dancing, cowboy dancing, dervishes, bullying, ballet, school dances, and Drew’s high-concept ballet that might not be worth a million dollars, but would be worth watching, for once. Plus: the dirty world of drama and lies at 80s dancing night. Not a subscriber? You need something to listen to at work, and subscribing gives you over 100 subscriber-only episodes you haven’t heard yet. Do it now. * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Mon, July 26, 2021
GBU 208: Hermits, Doppelgängers, and The Gritty Life Of The Desert
How does anything live in the desert? And why? We tackle these difficult subjects, as well as the weird looking kid, Drew’s doppelgänger, triscuits, hobbits, and our first quiz in a long time. Play along while you listen, if you dare. Not subscribed? That’s a horrible mistake, because you can’t hear half of our episodes, or join our Discord chat room. * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, July 20, 2021
GBU 206: My Complicated Relationship With Elevators
Elevators, escalators, eleskaters, and everything in between. Natalie & Drew explore the bizarre world of indoor human transportation, and what you should (and shouldn't) be scared of, awake or not. Also, how to control reality and tell if you're still in it. (You're probably not.) Not a subscriber? Please subscribe so we can continue to write and record GBU! • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Wed, July 14, 2021
GBU 204: Parrots: The Beach Boys Of Birds
Why you can’t study wild parrots! Why parrots keep their boyfriends forever! Why they crap out little hard balls that contain baby parrots! And at least a couple more parrot facts await you in this, the 204th episode of Garbage Brain University. Subscribe now please (you’ll get over 100 episodes you’ve never heard, and we need your help to keep making this show!) * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, July 06, 2021
GBU 202: The Weirdest Dog I've Ever Seen
How much do deer eat? What is our family group chat like? What is Drew’s favorite bible verse? Do deer do oral? How conscious are deer? And what the fuck is a moose? Natalie & Drew answer these and dozens of other questions in today’s deer-based episode. Not a subscriber? Fix that now to hear the other 100 (ONE HUNDRED!) episodes that are for subscribers only: * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, June 29, 2021
GBU 200: Hermits, Nuns, Monks, Friars, And Shutting The Fuck Up
Scourging yourself! Hermitry! The daily life of a monk! Dropping out of society! Convents! Asceticism! And dozens more monk facts. It’s the two hundredth episode of GBU and it’s here now. Haven’t been sure that we would keep writing and recording these? Hopefully, seeing that we’ve done this two hundred times should convince you that we’re in it to win it. If you’d like to help us keep going (and hear the 100 members-only episodes you haven’t heard yet) YOUR subscription will ensure that we can continue. Won’t you, please? * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Fri, June 18, 2021
GBU 198: Puppets, Puppeteers & Ventriloquists
Letter People! Finger puppets! Garfield Goose! Sock Puppets! Significant Puppets Of History! All of these, plus a puppet quiz, and thousands more puppet facts, right here, right now. * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, June 08, 2021
GBU 196: Dumb Dudes Doing Adventures
Who invented the North Pole? What is it like to live in the Arctic? Why do end-times prophecies never shake out? And what’s the problem with toadaso? We address none of these, but instead, a thousand other facts, in today’s North Pole-based episode. Not a subscriber? Press the subscription button please, or continue to miss every odd-numbered episode, except for last week’s bonus UFO episode, which you need to listen to right now if you haven’t already. * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Fri, June 04, 2021
GBU 195: Aliens are Real, They're Already Here And The Pope Agrees
Later this month, the Pentagon and US Department of Defense are dropping a report about the information they have on UFO/UAPs in America. Natalie & Drew dug into what we know already, what will likely be in the report, how the top-secret UFO knowledge got secretly declassified, who belongs to the Galactic Federation, the different alien crafts we know about, and why amateur UFO videos are always blurry. Since this is a matter of pressing, immediate importance, we have declassified this episode to make it available to our FREE listeners as well as our supporters. (Usually, supporters get an extra episode every week - you’re only hearing half of what we make!) If you want to know more about Area 51, the sentient non-human species on earth, the history of alien intervention in human evolution, telepathy, and how to decalcify your pineal gland, subscribing gives you access to ALIENTEMBER, our miniseries where we outlined the complete history of aliens and extraterrestrial disclosure on Earth. Subscribe now and have this knowledge before any of your peers. See you next tuesday! * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, June 01, 2021
GBU 194: Could A Frog Eat A Dog?
Frogs, from the makers of Dogs! Natalie & Drew talk about what frogs eat, eating frogs, and why frogs take the enormousest shits of any animal proportional to their body size. We also talk about mediocre experiences, how to calculate your high jump, what tadpoles are for, Martha Speaks, and why frogs deactivate themselves. Not a subscriber? Figure it out, genius. Bye * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, May 25, 2021
GBU 192: Hawaiian Death Trip
In this groundbreaking episode, Natalie & Drew expose the sick truth behind The Beach Boys, as well as the hidden dirt on pneumatic bank tubes, macadamia nuts, volcanos, and exactly how you get between all of the islands in Hawaii. What are Rhode Islanders up to? Where did the people in Hawaii come from? And, finally, what is the Hawaiian Death Trip? These questions, and more, are answered right here, right now. If you’re not a subscriber, subscribe to join our secret community, as well as gain access to group games (we played poker last weekend!) and the other half of the GBU episodes you’ve never heard. Until later! * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, May 18, 2021
GBU 190: Crime Scenes & Cleaning Up
BECOME CLEAN. Quit social media. Rescue an egg from the park. Ride a unicycle. Join a foreign exchange program to play basketball. Throw everything you own in the trash and don’t put anything more in your home. Plus, a million dollar idea. Not a subscriber yet? Remedy that immediately by paying us five dollars. Until Friday (subscribers) or next week (non-subscribers!) * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, May 11, 2021
GBU 188: Bad Guys Gone Wet
Pirates! Or as Natalie calls them, Bad Guys Gone Wet. The real pirate lore on Obra Dinn, Johnny Depp, Blackbeard, Grace O’Malley, eyepatches, guns, and The Official Rules Of The Pirate Boat. Plus, kleptocracy, vandalizing Wikipedia, stealing a FedEx plane, and why humans have been the Pokémon all along. Not a subscriber? You’re outta water and the light is fading fast. Click the Subscribe Now button to bring yourself back to the land of the living. (This is how you get access to the GBU Discord & group games.) Also, psst! If you haven’t heard, we’ve got new shirts at thenewsharingmachine.com . Stop by for the re-release of the Mothman Thank You shirt and a handful of brand new designs you’ve probably never seen. Until next time! * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Fri, April 30, 2021
GBU 186: Your Butt Is A Container For Your Ass
Natalie & Drew talk about why the stomach is nature’s purse, why Drew hangs out in storm drains, different types of containers, Natalie’s jerky wallet, simulation theory, how to subdue a wild deer, and, finally, why a man is nothing but a container for a big mess. Plus, alternate gravities, why we aren’t on “a bad timeline,” and why everything, ultimately, is a container for something else. Not a member of our Discord yet? Subscribe now and feed your mind with the 93 paid episodes you’ve never heard, plus a 24/7 chatroom of fellow GBU listeners and high-vibration likeminds. Here’s the button. Also, if you haven’t seen already, Drew’s going live on Twitch from 2:30pm-5pm Eastern time today! Check out the GBU channel here and stop by in the live chat to say hello. Until later! * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Fri, April 23, 2021
GBU 184: Sun vs. Sunn O)))
Natalie & Drew talked about the sun, Sunn O))) and a million other things, like: Sabbath and Iron Man! The history of The Sun! Why the sun makes us mad! Why Natalie cries for no robot. Why there’s no surface of the sun. Sunburns, sunscreen, sun gods, sungazing, Ghostface Killah, and Copernicus’s dick. You’ll have to listen. Also, if you haven’t followed us on Twitch yet, today we’ll be live from 2:30pm (NOW!) until 5:00pm Eastern Time as Drew drives around the world in GeoGuessr, and we work together to find out where we are. Won’t you join us? Subscribe now for Discord access & the 92 paid episodes you’ve never heard: Until next week! * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Thu, April 15, 2021
GBU 182: What Bones Does
Bone gnomes in a crystal bone maze! Why your bones are constantly shitting! What 2 Chainz can teach us about bones! And hundreds more bone facts and theories, brought to you right now by Natalie & Drew. Enjoy listening to us but not a member of our inner circle, where we chat 24/7 with our friends and undertake secret projects? All you need to do is join the Discord, which can be done by Subscribing Now: Until next time! * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Thu, April 08, 2021
GBU 180: My Role In The Revolution Will Be Turtle Estimator
Who invented turtles? What separates a turtle from a tortoise from a terrapin? And what is the best turtle name of all time? We dig into these and thousands of other turtle-based topics in today’s show. Catch Drew on Twitch tomorrow (Friday) at 2:30pm Eastern for another record-breaking GeoGuessr attempt, by the way! Follow us on there now and you’ll be notified when the GBU channel goes live. Looking for the Discord or our paid eps? Those are for subscribers only, baby, and here’s how you become one: * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Mon, March 29, 2021
GBU 178: Fn' In A Pool
Natalie gives detailed instructions on how to keep water out of your nose, and with Drew, she designs an Archimedes-tier experiment to measure the river. We also talked cyberpunk pool parties, small-town culture shock, greasy watermelons, and how dolphins actually move on land. Did you miss today’s livestream? Subscribe to our Twitch and you’ll catch the next one on Wednesday. Did you miss all of our odd-numbered episodes? That means you need to subscribe, friend, and you can do that here: Until later! * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Mon, March 22, 2021
GBU 176: Girl Toys Versus Boy Toys: I Need Haymer
Natalie & Drew talk about giving drugs to kids, dressing your kid up like Tactical Murder Soldier, burning and melting shit, consumerism, restaurant owners, and toys. We also talked cops, the Bert Vs. Ernie dichotomy, and plugging your finger into the 120v power your house supplies. I need haymer. Not a subscriber yet? That means you’re missing out on half our episodes, membership to Discord, and more. Do that now. Here. Also, we’ve been streaming 3x a week on Twitch lately, so throw us a follow on Twitch if you want to be notified next time we go live! It’s usually around 3pm Eastern, M/W/F. Until later this week (subscribers) or next week (non subscribers.) * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, March 16, 2021
GBU 174: Museums & The Triumph Of Man
Natalie & Drew talk the worst and best of museums around the world, including a stop at the Mütter Museum (full of bones) and a plan to bring back the 60s-era walkthrough evolution exhibit they miss. Plus: why do you become what you pretend to be? What happens to chickens who live at a museum? And how are we going to make a million bucks? If you haven’t followed our Twitch page , we’ve been livestreaming 2-3x a week. Throw us a Follow on there and you’ll be notified the next time we go live! Also, if you’re not subscribed, do that now. You’re only getting the free episodes, which means you’re missing the other half. Here’s the button. Until later this week (subscribers) or next week (free listeners!) * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, March 09, 2021
GBU 172: Commercials, Fast Food & Chicken Hungry
Natalie & Drew tackle commercial urban legends, why advertising is terrible (beyond the obvious reasons,) classism, the history of fast food, Chicken Hungry, why a local car dealer had a curling iron in his ass, and a quiz about fast food. It’s all here right now. If you missed Drew’s GeoGuessr stream yesterday, subscribe to the GBU Twitch channel and you’ll get automatically notified when we go live again! (It’ll probably be Weds, 3/10, at around 2pm Eastern Time!) There are videos of past broadcasts on the Twitch page if you want to see what it’s all about, but in essence, we drive around the world on Google Street View and try to figure out where we are. What’s not to like? Also, slam the Subscribe button please. We don’t make much doing this, and it takes a lot of time, and we do, truly, need your help to keep going. Won’t you please? * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Wed, March 03, 2021
GBU 170: Why Bird Milk Is The Grossest Milk
Natalie & Drew give you the ins and outs of milk, one of the worst drinks ever invented. Did you know birds make milk? They do, and we tell you all about it. We also talked breastfeeding, nut milk, milking pigs, and why “going potty” is the milk of the butt. Not a subscriber? Do that now please, so you get more episodes (85 and counting) as well as access to the community Discord. Plus, your support lets us keep making Garbage Brain, which is good for us, and also good for you, presumably. Until next time! * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Mon, February 22, 2021
GBU 168: Why Authority And Money Is Fake
Give us the stimmy already! Abolish student loans! Raise the minimum wage! You are not my boss, and money isn’t my boss. Money isn’t real, and neither is the United States Treasurer’s signature, sometimes. Natalie & Drew dig into the disgusting, horrible concept of money today, with a few tidbits you might not know already unless you’re a major bill-n-coin head. Not a subscriber yet? Money is fake so give us 5 of it please by subscribing now. You’ll get 84 subscriber-only episodes, access to our community Discord chatroom/IRC channel/gaming platform, and the knowledge that you are helping us continue to make GBU. Slam the button please. * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Wed, February 10, 2021
GBU 166: Saint Valentine Was An Alien
Natalie & Drew talk about where Valentines Day came from, the gory story of the original Saint Valentine (and why he was an alien,) why Saint Valentine may have been three people (or three aliens,) Ohio Mud Week, hog-sucking, hole-getting, and more. Not subscribed? Fuck you! Subscribe now please. Bye, * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Wed, February 03, 2021
GBU 164: Numerology & The Idea Of Zero
Natalie & Drew talk numbers, emotions about numbers, and why math led to capitalism (or, possibly, why capitalism led to math.) We also talked the metric system, zero, negative numbers, imaginary numbers, and, of course, the king of mathematical analysis, NUMEROLOGY. If you’re not a paid subscriber you’re missing half (82) of our episodes! Rectify this immediately with a subscription, which also grants you access to our secret good-vibes-only community. Talk to you in a couple days (subscribers) or next week (non subscribers!) * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, January 26, 2021
GBU 162: How To Destroy Bird Scooters & Other Robots
Today, Natalie & Drew go deep on the damage robots have done to our society. Whether it’s taking human jobs, beeping at us, playing remote control cop, or worse, robots have caused us nothing but trouble and brought value to no one but the oppressive class. We also talked about how to improve robots. Want to listen to the 80+ episodes of GBU that are for subscribers only? Then you gotta subscribe! * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Wed, January 20, 2021
GBU 160: Goggle Boy: The Basketball Genius
Natalie & Drew talk corrective lenses, the biggerator, the Spicy Girls, and why throwing things around makes your life worse in every way. Not a subscriber? Click it to fix it. Subscribing gives you EIGHTY episodes you haven’t heard, plus access to our private Discord. Bye! * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Wed, January 13, 2021
GBU 158: Being Homeless, But For Fun
Animals running across your legs, day and night. Snakes in your ass. Going somewhere worse for fun. It’s time to learn about camping, with a play-along quiz. Join Natalie & Drew for a journey through the American loopholes of why it’s illegal to be homeless, but legal to pitch a tent and live homelessly for fun! Not subscribed? You’re missing 80 subscriber-only episodes, along with our secret 24/7 chat room and gaming hub. Only for true Geniuses like you. * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, January 05, 2021
GBU 156: Half People, Half Fish, All Alien, Baby
Happy 2021! Today, Natalie & Drew discuss Mothman of the Ocean, Crazy Frog, mermaids, Plate Guy, and the impermanence of data. Plus, a million dollar idea. It’s all here and it’s all in the future, in 2021, right now. Still not a paying subscriber? You missed our holiday-break episodes along with 70 more subscriber-only eps, and you don’t have access to our community Discord, where we game, chat, and oppose capitalism. * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Sun, December 13, 2020
GBU 152: A Very Pinhead Christmas (special guest Doug Bradley)
Doug Bradley, who played Pinhead in the first eight Hellraiser movies, joins us today for a very special Christmas episode. Doug told us about the secret deleted Hellraiser scenes, explained why Clive Barker was the perfect director for Hellraiser, reveals the truth behind Pinhead’s makeup, and tells us what it’s like to be inside of Pinhead’s leathers. We also got a look at Doug in the Star Wars universe, the future of Hellraiser, and the ultimate Hellraiser question: Will Doug Bradley be Pinhead once again? Doug’s store is at dougbradley.com/store and is where you can find his “virtual convention” we talked about, as well as books and other merch. His YouTube channel has readings of several books, and his Instagram account OfficialDougBradley is what you want to follow for more! Not a subscriber of GBU yet? Remedy that with the Subscribe Now button, where you’ll get 70 exclusive episodes for paid members only, plus access to our community Discord where we organize games and other activities. * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Wed, December 09, 2020
GBU 150: I Want To Drink The Beer From Repo Man
Why does gin taste like stealing? What is Richard Scarry Busytown Beer? And how much do people actually drink? You asked for it (in Discord) and now Natalie & Drew present to you 53 minutes of knowledge on alcohol and its effects on planet earth. Subscribe now & you’ll get access to our Discord, where you can suggest ideas for future episodes, listen to the 70+ subscriber-only eps you’ve never heard, and participate in all our other community activities. Bye! * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, December 01, 2020
GBU 148: Weanut Butter, Wilk, Wizza, and Other Edibles
Natalie & Drew investigate cannabis edibles, hemp food, and all the treats you’ll forget you eat. We talked about buying weed at the deli counter, why the Hindu god Shiva was a known weedhead, who invented edibles, why they last so long, how weed can lead to starting a family, why Weanut Butter is not a force for good, and the tale of the highest either one of us has ever been on edibles. Plus, an edible quiz you can play while you listen. If you’re not a subscriber, you can’t talk to us and our friends on our private Discord! Rectify that by slamming the Subscribe Now button, which will also give you access to over 70 subscriber-only episodes. Our sponsors for this episode are Hazel Technologies and Harlem Township. Thanks! Until next time! * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, November 17, 2020
GBU 146: Dildos Of History
Today, Natalie & Drew tell you about the ancient (and modern) history of dildos, vibrators, artificial vaginas, slings, swings, and strap-on things. Plus, a sex-toy quiz you can play along with while you listen, the curious story of the iPod vibrator, People Lube, bread-based dildos, and the insane reason why Hitachi doesn’t want to be known for their Magic Wand . Not a subscriber? You’re missing out on our Discord chatroom/messageboard/community, our OVER 70 subscriber-only episodes, and much more. Hit the Subscribe Now button and join us immediately. Subscribing also enables us to keep writing and recording Garbage Brain for everyone, so now is the time. Later! * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, November 10, 2020
GBU 144: Howdy Ma'am, Chivalrous Cowboy Here
Yee-haw! Natalie & Drew talk about the origin of cowboys, the surprising reality of what they did, and why they aren’t around much these days, I reckon. We also talked barbed wire, chivalry, how to food-chain horses and cows together, a million-dollar cowboy idea, and Drew’s Canonical List Of Cowboy Names. Not a subscriber yet? Subscribe and you’ll not only support us (each subscriber makes a big difference!) but you’ll get 70+ paid episodes that only subscribers can hear, as well as access to our groundbreaking Discord community, the only social media outlet online that prioritizes kindness and community over argument, cruelty and the usual online emotions. Until next week (for free listeners) or Friday (our next subscriber-only episode!) * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, November 03, 2020
GBU 142: Bees Puke Honey, So Why Can't We?
Natalie & Drew dive into the mysteries of bees, such as: Where did all the killer bees come from? What is a cat bee? Who is Beernie Sanders? And why is honeydew infinitely more disgusting than you ever knew? (It’s not a melon.) Honey facts, nectar gossip, and thousands of other ideas are also right here, right now, in this very episode. Want something more fun to do than election? Looking for an alternative to hate-driven social media? Our private Discord community may be for you, and you can join it by slamming this brown subscribe button. “No talk! No type! Only listen!” Well, subscribing has benefits for you, too, my friend: it enables you to hear SEVENTY subscriber-only episodes. Same button. Same price. Get it. * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, October 27, 2020
GBU 140: Satan, Satanists, And The Demon Named Amy
You already know who it is! The big red man, the oldest bad guy out there, Satan himself. Natalie & Drew talk about who invented Satan, the 27 Names Of Satan, and Natalie’s cunning plan to overthrow and dethrone The Dark Trainer himself. We also talked about exorcisms, how much it costs to be a Satanist, the eleven commandments of Horn Boy, and what the Vatican knows about aliens. Not a subscriber? You fucked up, but you can fix this right now by hitting the Subscribe Now button. Seventy secret full-length episodes are only available to subscribers, and you’ll be able to chat with us 24/7 in our secret Discord too. The Shadow Butcher, Satan himself, commands you to slam this mf brown box. Until next time! * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Wed, October 21, 2020
GBU 138: All My Homies Live On Land
Natalie & Drew dig into the bizarre world of “Flying Before The Wright Brothers,” with balloons, coal gas, smoke, kites, blimps, zeppelins, and lots of death. An incredible amount of death. Natalie also discusses her unorthodox technique for drying her hair, which must be heard to be believed. Not a subscriber yet? Remedy that immediately by slapping the brown button below, and you’ll get instant access to our members-only Discord community as well as almost 70 episodes that you’ve never heard. We also play Among Us. Until next episode! * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, October 13, 2020
GBU 136: Why Would You Vape Sugar Cubes?
Today, Natalie & Drew dig into the enormous piles of sugar that the average person eats on a daily basis, to find out: Who invented sugar? Where does it come from? Why does liquid mercury taste so good? And, finally, after 136 episodes, you may bear witness to a once-in-a-lifetime result, as Drew aces the Mini Play-Along-At-Home Quiz for the first and probably last time ever. Not a subscriber? You’re missing out on our exclusive social club, where we play group games, tell ghost stories, and listen to each new episode live as it drops. Slam this button and you’ll be in the club. (You’ll also get to hear the 60+ paid episodes that are for subscribers only.) * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, October 06, 2020
GBU 134: How Animals Turned Into People Who Have To Go To Work
Natalie & Drew explain not only how animals turned into modern people, but why we have to go to work, who invented work, and the worst work you can do for a living. Plus: what does it mean to have an idea? If you’re not a subscriber, you’re missing ALIENTEMBER, our miniseries with curiously solid info on why alien life is real, how and when they’ve interacted with humans who have to go to work, and what’s next on the alien agenda. PART 5 drops this week with further investigations into reptilians, prehistoric astronauts, and more. Still not a fucking subscriber? Slam this brown button, my friend, and you’ll be inducted into our Discord server, where we organize Among Us and Geoguessr games and host one of the largest and highest-quality “funny picture” repositories available anywhere. Until next time! * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, September 29, 2020
GBU 132: HolPlugz™ & The Secrets Of Mormon Underwear
Natalie & Drew revealed the underwear secrets of the Mormons, as well as the fatal mistake of the Wu-Tang Clan, why the Gates Of Hell aren’t underwear, why birds might eat your dick, and a million-dollar idea that might change the way you look at underwear forever. Did you miss our miniseries ALIENTEMBER, where we dug into secrets of extraterrestrials, interstellar craft, and the government’s crusade to keep advanced technology from the masses? You’ll need to Subscribe Now, since that shit is for subscribers only: ‘Scribers also get over sixty subscriber-only episodes, access to our private Discord, entry to our group Among Us and Geoguessr games, and more. But you gotta ‘scribe if you wanna ride. Coming later this week: ALIENTEMBER PART 4, with a guest who’s going to help us blow the lid open on the Annunaki, Greys, and Reptilians. * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Mon, September 21, 2020
GBU 130: Maybe The Reason You Think You’re The Main Character Of Reality Is Because Everyone Is Part Of A Collective Consciousness So You're Technically Right
What’s your favorite smell? What’s the difference between a scent and an odor? What’s a wang? How do you get high from smelling salts? How can you be hypnotized to stop smoking? And what is Liquid Sex? Drew & Natalie answer these questions and more in today’s episode, which is also about the All-One Universal Mind. If you’re not a subscriber, you’re missing ALIENTEMBER, our miniseries about the real evidence behind extraterrestrials and their contact with humanity that’s going all month long. Slam that mf subscribe button and you’ll also get instant access to over 60 subscriber-only episodes you’ve never heard as well as our private Discord/chat room. Next up: ALIENTEMBER part 3… The mystery deepens. * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Mon, September 14, 2020
GBU 128: Fall, The Horny Season
Natalie & Drew are coming to you LIVE from the horniest season of all: fall. Natalie explains what a cornucopia is, Drew lambasts the grade-based gatekeeping of Trapper Keepers, and we both go purple horny devil for sweetened, condensed milk. Plus: What is Presidents Day 2? Why is it called fall and not autumn? When can I put my sweater back on? Why do the stupid leaves change color? And more. Not a subscriber yet? Fix that now and you’ll get access to everything you’ve been missing out on: our ALIENTEMBER miniseries, our Discord chatroom, and over sixty paid GBU episodes you’ve never heard. Coming up this week for subscribers/patrons only: ALIENTEMBER, PART 2: What Happens When An Alien Abducts You? Bye! * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Fri, September 04, 2020
GBU 126: Fish, The Birds Of The Sea
You don’t know what a fish actually is, do you? We find out in this episode, as well as over 14,000 facts about why some fish can breathe air, why the Dutch thought a hippopotamus was a fish, and why a tugboat doesn’t tug. There’s also a fish quiz you can play while you listen, and Natalie & Drew explain why people, like fish (or some mammals) should be able to hibernate. Not a paying listener yet? You should be, because you’re missing half of our episodes, and you’re not able to chat with us in our private Discord, where we play Geoguessr every day and listen live to each new episode as it drops. Subscribe now and make your dreams come true. Also, it helps us keep making these, which you should probably want if you’re listening. * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Thu, August 27, 2020
GBU 124: Natalie Gets A Second Head
Who invented the head? What happens to a cockroach (or a person) when they’re decapitated? What happens when you cryogenically freeze your head? Why is Mr. Bean trusted with being an executioner? And what if it turned out your consciousness wasn’t in your head, but your body, the whole time? Natalie & Drew answer these questions, and dozens more, in today’s Garbage Brain University. Unable to chat about episodes with our other listeners? Want to get in on our daily Geoguessr challenge, Animal Crossing item club, and the best, most secret stuff you don’t get to see as a free listener? Subscribe today and all of these dreams will come true. * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Wed, August 19, 2020
GBU 122: Forbidden Colors, Illegal Colors
Natalie & Drew talk about the enchanted guitar, the wizard’s camel, and the bizarre world of forbidden colors, spicy colors, impossible colors, and more. Drop what you’re doing and pay full attention to this, right now. (Just kidding. Listen to it in one ear while you’re working!) Not a patron? You’re missing out on HALF of our episodes, as well as our 24/7 private chat room, cooking club, and everything else that happens in our Discord. Become a patron by subscribing now. We’ll talk to you this weekend (if you’re a member!) or next week if you’re a free listener. Until then! * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Wed, August 12, 2020
GBU 120: Hatters Never Prosper
Drew & Natalie explain why now is the time to intensify your fashion, why baby clothes are worse than you’d even think, why a rock is a hat, why fringe is ALWAYS better than no fringe, and tell the tale of two beekeepers who loved each other. Also, a hat quiz! Become Garbagebrainpilled by listening to this hat-based episode, and perhaps you, too, may become a Garbage Brain Genius. See you Saturday (or next week, if you only listen to the free episodes! Sucker!) * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Wed, August 05, 2020
GBU 118: Bean Poisoning: Diarrhea'd To Death
Natalie & Drew explore the horrible world of beans, from being bean-poisoned, crapping out metallic turds, eating pretzel sandwiches, what it means to be toothsome, and more. Plus, Drew issues an official apology to Jeff Quest. * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, July 28, 2020
GBU 116: Shooting Blood From Your Third Boob
It’s the season of swampy humidity and peeing outside. Summer is here, and Natalie & Drew have a boatload of weird holidays, non-scenic Ohio ditches, and the tale of what regular people do when they go to Florida, if you’re not regular and don’t know. Also: why you can’t be nude, a way to fix the boring-ass Olympics, and the true meaning of Summer Vacation is revealed. Also, if you missed it, we have a Twitch channel now! Stop by and watch us play weird old video games, like Frolf (Ribbit King,) which we’ve discussed in past episodes. It’s like a live GBU episode, but we play games, and we have a great, secret project planned for our Twitch channel. So subscribe to that sucker (it’s free) and let it alert you next time we stream! Until next time! * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, July 21, 2020
GBU 114: The One Million Dollar Worm
Today, Natalie & Drew talk about worms, which are, like, just tubes, man. Think about it. We explain the differences between snakes and worms, why ringworm isn’t a worm, the science of The True Neutral Ass, what happens when a worm smokes weed, and thousands of other worm-based concepts. Not in our inner-circle yet? Unable to listen to our elusive patron-only odd-numbered episodes , and at lack of peers to talk about worms and other Garbage Brain topics with? Join our Patreon now , which supplies us with a small but much-needed amount of money to continue operating, in addition to giving you access to our 24/7 live chat on Discord , gaming circle, arts’n’crafts jamboree, and several more community features. https://patreon.com/garbagebrainuniversity Until next time! * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Wed, July 15, 2020
GBU 112: The Big List Of Every Cuss Word, Ever
Natalie & Drew talk about the invention of modern cussing, words you use to replace cusses, the discovery of how (and why) animals cuss, the beauty of high school graffiti, and, of course, the long list of every English-language cuss word that has ever been said. Plus, a way to atone for your cussing sins. It’s all here, right here, right now. Missing GBU 111? That’s a patron-only episode. GBU 109? Same. GBU 107, 105, 103, et cetera? They’re patron-only episodes , baby, and you gotta become a patron at https://patreon.com/garbagebrainuniversity to get instant access to that and our secret Discord. Until next time, stay cool, stay cussing. * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, July 07, 2020
GBU 110: How To Become The Pope
The dead pope who lost his court case against the alive pope! Hitting popes in the head with a silver hammer and cutting their fingers off! These and other bizarre-yet-true Pope Facts are packed into today’s episode of Garbage Brain University, along with a play-while-you-listen quiz. Not a patron yet? You’re missing over fifty patron-only episodes, as well as our 24/7 private chatroom . Become a patron at https://patreon.com/garbagebrainuniversity if it’s at all possible. Until next time! * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Mon, June 29, 2020
GBU 108: Star Wars 12: The Dark Bishop
In a special episode of GBU, Drew & Natalie watch, and then talk about the first eleven Star Wars movies, from beginning to end. Whether you’re an old Star-head or new to the longest-running space saga of the silver screen, we’ve dug up some facts and stories that’ll be new to your ears. Join our Patreon and Discord at patreon.com/garbagebrainuniversity to sync up with other listeners, if you haven’t already, and for our 24-hour Garbage Brain Genius chat , a community designed to chill. Plus, you’ll get instant access to the over-fifty patron-only episodes you haven’t heard yet. Talk to you later! * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, June 23, 2020
GBU 106: Why Do They Call Them Pigs?
Natalie & Drew tackle the pig vs. hog debate, find out how to make a pig stop shitting where it eats, the swine flu, DARE, the pig band, and how The Australian Pig Shortage caused a crisis that almost ended painting in Australia. And more! If you haven’t heard episodes 105 , 103 , 101 , et cetera, it’s because you’re not a patron ! Sign up now & you’ll get instant access to the over-fifty episodes you’ve missed, as well as our secret Discord chat room , book club, and art space. Until later! * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Mon, June 15, 2020
GBU 104: Landlubbers, Tunnel Digglers & Sayings Of The Sea
Natalie & Drew investigate the mystical Sayings Of The Sea, find out what happens when you live in a houseboat, and commandeer an abandoned vessel in international waters. This, plus dozens of thousands of boat facts, are packed into this 49-minute episode. Join us on Discord right now if you want to sync up with other Garbage Brain Geniuses and talk about the episode in real time. As soon as you finish listening to this episode, you’ll have over 50 patron-only episodes at your disposal which you never got to hear, having not been a subscriber. Be there at 6:30pm Eastern TODAY! We’ll listen together! Talk to you next time. * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Mon, June 08, 2020
GBU 102: Freetember: A New Calendar For Earth
Natalie & Drew pick apart the very nature of time itself, exploring: * What happens if time collapses on itself * Why the Gregorian Calendar is named after Greg * Why school takes a long time * Our new, revolutionary calendar system, mentioned in the title of this episode * What happened when the French tried to put 100 seconds in a minute * How do you even measure time if it’s not real? And hundreds more ideas, packed into just less than an hour. If you missed episode 101, episode 99, episode 97, et cetera, they’re for patrons only and can be found at patreon.com/garbagebrainuniversity with a subscription. You’ll also get access to the infamous Discord , which houses our inner-circle of Garbage Brain Geniuses and hosts live-listens for new episodes. Until next time! * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Fri, May 29, 2020
GBU 100: The Million-Dollar Bread
In this, our 100th GBU episode, Natalie and Drew reveal the million-dollar bread idea that they’ve been saving for a special occasion. We also talked about keto, the origins of “the best thing since sliced bread,” why you can’t feed bread to ducks, and why fish are Pay Pigs. We also talked about leavening, poisonous plants, and the specific reasons we want to be directly nuked. If you’re not a Patron , you have now missed FIFTY episodes of Garbage Brain University. Rectify that immediately by paying us five small dollars at patreon.com/garbagebrainuniversity and you’ll also get instant access to our chatroom, book club, cooking circle, Animal Crossing coven, live role-playing game, and more. Enjoy! * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Thu, May 21, 2020
GBU 98: Tampons & Chicken Grease: A Possum's Life
Natalie & Drew dive into the bizarre world of the opossum, familiarly known as “possum,” with an assortment of surprising facts. Some of the facts are about their nipples! Some of them are just about gleeking and foaming at the mouth. We also talked about accidentally eating poison hemlock, why rappers puke, how many baby possums can fit in a soup spoon, and, tragically, The Cloacal Kiss. Patrons get two Garbage Brain episodes a week instead of one (you’ve missed ALMOST FIFTY patron-only episodes so far by not patronizing us!) and are in our secret inner-circle clubhouse and chatroom. Join us with a meager pledge at Patreon and you’ll get the inside scoop on all the episodes you missed, plus the ability to participate in our next live (online) event . Enjoy! Talk to you again soon! * natalie & drew https://patreon.com/garbagebrainuniversity This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Thu, May 14, 2020
GBU 96: Why The Amish Can Kiss My Ass
Natalie & Drew dig into the deeply weird history and existence of the Amish, a fundamentalist religious group who mostly lives in Ohio and Pennsylvania. We talked Amish birth control, why the Amish have no moustaches, smoking big doinks, Amish clothing, Rumspringa, the 1998 Hyundai Elantra, “and more.” You’ll also find out what happens when you get kicked out of Amish, and the Illuminati secret behind the image files we all know and love. You’re missing out on most of the Garbage Brain fun if you haven’t pledged to our Patreon, by the way - you’ll get the almost FIFTY episodes that are only available to Patrons, plus instant access to our private Discord chat where the real Garbage Brain action happens. Sign up now & you’ll be in the loop for our next live-listen/live-watch event today! https://patreon.com/garbagebrainuniversity * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Thu, May 07, 2020
GBU 94: The Fifth-Largest Continent
It’s cold. It’s on the bottom. We call it Antarctica. Today, Natalie & Drew explore the facts and legends of the world’s least-populated and fifth-largest continent. There’s an extended quiz you can play along with while you listen, and Natalie asks the eternal question: when you’re in Antarctica, are you upside down, like a bitch? Help us keep this ship sailing with a membership to our Patreon - you’ll get access to our private Discord server, our Animal Crossing turnip touching club, and the OVER FORTY paid episodes you haven’t heard yet. You’re this far already, you might as well go for it. * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Wed, April 29, 2020
GBU 92: The Oldest Shoes Ever Found
Today marks ONE YEAR of Garbage Brain University! Ninety-two episodes later, we’ve revealed thousands of facts, and millions of dollars’ worth of ideas. Today’s episode is about how to make ape feet out of people feet, why shoes fuck your feet up, why feet are ticklish, why you can’t tell us what you’re masturbating about, and more. Want to help us make the next year’s worth of Garbage Brain? Subscribe to our Patreon , which gives you instant access to our members-only Discord, the 46 paid episodes you’ve never heard, our Animal Crossing New Horizons club, and more. You’ll also get to chat with other listeners the moment we drop each new episode, as well as post suggestions for future episodes, which we often accept. You’re buying power! It’s the most American thing you could do. https://patreon.com/garbagebrainuniversity * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Wed, April 22, 2020
GBU 90: Is Fruit A Dessert?
Our most contentious episode yet. We uncovered the facts about why avocados are just shitty butter, explained why strawberries aren’t berries, listed Steve’s Pet Peeves, visited a dairy farm, and attacked the non-eternal question of whether or not fruit is a dessert. Plus: goat breeds of Pakistan, the Pope’s favorite fruit, how to eat roses, and Spite Lunches Of Japan. Want to tell us our food opinions are wrong, or give us a suggestion for a future episode? Five bucks gets you into our secret club with hundreds of other listeners (and Drew & Natalie) as well as lets you listen to the 45 paid episodes you’ve never heard. Subscribe now at https://patreon.com/garbagebrainuniversity to get instant access. * drew & natalie This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, April 14, 2020
GBU 88: What Do People Put In Their Butts?
In today’s Garbage Brain University, Drew & Natalie discover all of the objects people have inserted into their rectums, as well as the science (and art) of butt-chugging, boofing, and shitting out hockey pucks. There was also the return of The Gentleman’s Limit, a quiz about drugs you can put in your butt, and more than you ever wanted to know about a bird’s exit-end. Missing the odd-numbered episodes ? Yes, you are, unless you’re a Patron already! You’ll get all of the 44 subscriber-only hour-long episodes instantly when you subscribe to our Patreon , which also gives you instant access to our Discord chatroom , monthly book club, Animal Crossing party, and more. It’s worth the five bucks, and I’m not just saying that because we get the five bucks. * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, April 07, 2020
GBU 86: Classic Underpants Rash
What happens when you get diagnosed with “classic underpants rash,” an apparently real medical term? What do dust mites do all day? And why is poison ivy stronger than it’s ever been, maybe? Drew & Natalie answer all these questions, plus give you over three thousand medically consistent facts about allergies, and top the sundae off with not one, but TWO quizzes you can take while you listen. Join our Patreon for instant access to the OTHER HALF of the episodes you’ve never heard, as well as our private Discord server, where you can talk with other GBU listeners, participate in our monthly book club , and even trade Animal Crossing codes so we can all visit each others’ towns. It’s five bucks! You’re not going anywhere! * drew & natalie This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, March 31, 2020
GBU 84: The Cat That Broke Into My House
Natalie & Drew are back, once again, with the tale of the cat who broke into Natalie’s house, dozens of pet facts, secret hand tricks for cats, and a business idea that will change the way you look at dogs forever. Plus, a pet quiz you can play along with as you listen! (We recorded this a few weeks ago, before lockdown, so all mentions of leaving the house in this episode occurred in The Before Time, by the way.) If you want to chat with us (and other GBU listeners) on our private Discord, become a patron now. You’ll also get the 42 patron-only episodes you missed, plus admittance to our book club , Animal Crossing item-trading group , and more. * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, March 24, 2020
GBU 82: The Pants Stay On, Baby
The future of fashion is here! Natalie & Drew talk armwarmers, the flag of the equator, spring versus fall, the bikini that makes you look dead, the t-shirts that got away, and why, even a million dollars later, The Pants Stay On, Baby. Not a part of our inner circle yet? Join our private GBU Discord via Patreon and you’ll have access to our members-only book club, Animal Crossing Friend Circle, 24/7 live chat, and you’ll even be able to hear the 40+ paid episodes of Garbage Brain you’ve missed, since it’s all included for the same five bucks. * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, March 17, 2020
GBU 80: How To Have Fun At Home
Today, Natalie & Drew give you ideas for how to have fun during Staycation 2020, and also talk about self-surgery, an island where the government experiments on animals, their third Million Dollar Idea, and the outdoor snack you didn’t know you could make inside until today. Become our Patron for five bucks and you’ll get instant access to our Discord (we’re exchanging friend codes for Animal Crossing New Horizons right now) as well as all of our paid episodes you haven’t heard. * natalie & drew - This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Wed, March 11, 2020
Hello Ghosts 2: A Haunted House In A Haunted Town
Hello Ghosts is the GBU spin-off featuring Natalie and our friend Elissa , and their investigations into local paranormal lore. This is our first free episode - future eps will be available for patrons only! A fateful conversation leads Natalie and Elissa to the foothills of Appalachia to investigate a haunted home. They discover that the weirdness extends farther outside the property line than they would have expected, and a creepy discovery is revealed in an extra segment at the very end of the episode. Want more Hello Ghosts? Join the GBU Patreon and you’ll get access to our patron-only GBU/HG episodes, as well as a membership to our private Discord, with a dedicated channel for discussing Hello Ghosts. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, March 10, 2020
GBU 78: Deal With It, Dum-Dum
Elephants are nature’s biggest vegans, and today, Natalie & Drew talk about elephant noses, how to ride a bicycle with an elephant, how long it takes an elephant to pee, why they eat 18 hours a day, and the lurid tale of how a small town murdered an elephant a hundred years ago. Want to suggest an episode? Want something to do if you’re gonna shut yourself inside for a while? Join our discord by hopping on our Patreon. You’ll also get access to all the premium episodes that only patrons can hear, and you’ll be able to chat with us and other listeners. * natalie & drew - This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, March 03, 2020
GBU 76: Baby Read A Book To It
Natalie tells you why working in the library makes you want to die. Drew tells you about going to the bookmobile behind the Arby’s. Together, they plan The Floppy Cop Drop. These, along with actual facts about libraries, are packed into this hour-long episode. Haven’t subscribed yet? Head over to the GBU Patreon to listen to the dozens of subscriber-only episodes you’ve missed, as well as access to our private Discord server. You’ll also be able to listen to Natalie and Elissa’s new project Hello Ghosts, a report of their actual, real-life adventures in paranormal investigating which runs every other week here on GBU. It’s less than you spend on horseshoes. * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, February 25, 2020
GBU 74: The 101 Secrets Of The Toilet
Natalie reveals her newest invention, a bike-seat-styled commode, and explains why she hates it so much when astronauts float around. Drew attempts to name all of the crappers that have ever existed. Together, they reveal the untold secrets of humanity’s greatest shame device before the Internet: The Toilet. Want to suggest a topic to us, or talk to fellow GBU listeners? Join our Discord by becoming a full subscriber. You’ll also get instant access to thirty subscriber-only episodes you haven’t heard. All of the comments/discussion on each episode takes place in Discord, so that’s where you want to be if you have thoughts to share. Talk to you soon! * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Sat, February 22, 2020
GBU Bonus: Talkin' Teens with Murder Bryan from Street Fight Radio
Our friend Bryan stopped by to talk teenagers with us, in this bonus episode of GBU! Bryan is half of Street Fight Radio , an iconic anarcho-comedy show from Columbus, and like Drew and Natalie, he also used to be a teenager. We talked about why letting adults down means nothing, grinding at the school dance, and how Bryan started a mafia at his high school. There’s also a quiz you can play while you listen. We mentioned it in the episode, but Street Fight will be live in Columbus on Friday, February 28th, at Ruby Tuesday, so check that out, and follow @MurderBryan on Twitter if you haven’t already for more details. If you enjoyed this bonus episode (we usually only release one free episode a week!) then consider subscribing to GBU on Patreon . We’re ramping up our podcasting operations in 2020, and your help is crucial in us doing this. A cheapo subscription to our Patreon gives you access to our members-only 24/7 Discord chat room with bonus content and behind-the-scenes secrets, as well as the 35 subscriber-only episodes you haven’t heard yet. Talk to you again soon! * drew & natalie This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, February 18, 2020
GBU 72: All Chaff, No Wheat: Buying Cereal On eBay
In today's episode, we talked about why degenerate boomers are buying stale cereal on eBay, the cereal born from enemas, The Meat Of The Beef, and what Lucky Charms did to honor our nation’s antifa. We also talked horse milk, anti-cereal, and Natalie gave Drew two separate quizzes which you can play along with as you listen. Today’s episode was suggested by Quinn from our private Discord! Join up and you can give us suggestions for future episodes. It’s also where your fellow listeners conduct GBU Book Club (this month, we’re reading a Mothman book) as well as talk about anything they like. No mods, no rules. Subscribe to our Patreon and you’ll get access to this private Discord, along with the ability to listen to the 36 full episodes you’ve missed because they’re for subscribers only. Talk to you again soon! * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, February 11, 2020
GBU 70: You Can't Nut If You Don't Wear Socks
In today’s episode, Natalie & Drew talk about eating rocks, stealing pee from children, necrophilia, and why you have to wear socks if you want to nut. It’s the all-kink episode of Garbage Brain University, and it’s here now, on your headphones (not over your speakers, at least if you’re at work.) A subscription to our Patreon will give you instant access to our Discord, or if you want to subscribe right here, you can email drew@toothpastefordinner.com for the invite code. Check in there at 2pm Eastern today for the listen-along of today’s episode! * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, February 04, 2020
GBU 68: How The CIA Used Brain Implants To Drive Dogs Like Remote-Control Cars
Today’s episode features the absolutely true story of the title, plus the reason why Natalie won’t get on (or out of) a spaceship, Drew’s favorite conspiracy theory, why some people think Saddam Hussein had a stargate, and the long, bizarre tale of why Drew & Natalie were crisis actors for FEMA. Want to hear the episodes you’ve missed and live-chat with other listeners 24/7? You’ll need to join our Patreon , which will give you instant access to all THIRTY FOUR premium episodes, plus instant access to our Discord server for subscribers only. Talk to you again soon! * drew & natalie This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, January 28, 2020
GBU 66: Do Ants Have Dicks?
In this episode, Drew & Natalie Dee answer the age-old question: do ants have dicks? We also talked about how to cook ants, ant communism, why ants puke, and finally reveal the story of the time we got an ant high. Want to hear the episodes you missed? Join our Patreon , where you’ll get instant access to our Discord server where we chat with listeners, and be able to listen to the ever-growing archive of Episodes That Are Only For Subscribers. Check it out. We’d love it if you told your friends about Garbage Brain University, and this is probably a good episode to start them off on. Why not send your friend a link to this one? Everyone’s seen ants. It’s just one of the many things we have in common, as human being animals who have to use Internet. until next time! * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Mon, January 20, 2020
GBU 64: Natalie & Elissa Visit Their Past Lives (Yes, Really)
Today’s episode of GBU features our friend Elissa ( @badgirlfriday ) and it’s a double-sized tale of the time Natalie and Elissa went to a psychic last week to explore their past lives. We talked crystals, psychic elevators, psychic cheese-making, and the universality of the mind’s Golden Country. You’ll also hear who Natalie was in a past life, and why Elissa didn’t have one. Join our Patreon for access to the GBU Discord, where we (and our listeners) chat about a myriad of subjects, and as of last week, listen to the new episode simultaneously and chat while it’s happening. You’ll also get access to all of our subscriber-only episodes , and the sense of wellbeing that only comes with supporting the arts. * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, January 14, 2020
GBU 62: Babies Are Stupid
It’s true. Babies are stupid. In this episode, we talked about stealing a baby’s milk, giving birth on drugs, why babies don’t need clothes, and the time our kid said Fuck in the parent-teacher conference. Ride the Genimi. • drew & natalie This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Mon, January 06, 2020
GBU 60: How I Got A Public Enemy Tattoo At The Hospital
Happy 2020! Episode 60 of Garbage Brain University is here, and it’s all about tattoos, the permanent markings we love to get on our skin. Drew & Natalie talk about why they want to see nipples, the logistics of getting xanax-bar tattoos, asking someone about their personal shit, and the fabled return of the Vibrating Teeth. If you haven’t subscribed yet, you’re missing half of our episodes. You can fix that by clicking on this old button right here: Answer our questions from the ‘cast in the Official Comments Section below! You gotta subscribe to talk to us, but it’s worth it. Subscribers can also read comments by other listeners. Finally, listen to Garbage Brain University on Spotify or iTunes if you don’t already. Thanks again to Substack for our podcast/newsletter setup, and to The Melvins for our theme song, “Electric Flower,” used with permission. * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Mon, December 16, 2019
GBU 58: The Goat That Was The Mayor
Hey! It’s Natalie Dee & Drew Toothpaste, and we’re back again to talk about drop-kicking cheese across the yard, the relationship between horses and goats, and, of course, why three goats were once the mayor. All this, and over nine hundred other goat facts, are right here, right now, in this episode of Garbage Brain University. If you haven’t subscribed yet, you’re missing half of our episodes. You can fix that by clicking on this old button right here: Answer our questions from the ‘cast in the Official Comments Section below! You gotta subscribe to talk to us, but it’s worth it. Subscribers can also read comments by other listeners. Finally, listen to Garbage Brain University on Spotify or iTunes if you don’t already. Thanks again to Substack for our podcast/newsletter setup, and to The Melvins for our theme song, “Electric Flower,” used with permission. * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Mon, December 09, 2019
GBU 56: Flyover Country feat. @BrettPain from Street Fight Radio
Natalie & Drew are joined by our friend Brett Pain from Street Fight Radio to talk about “flyover country,” that imaginary region of our nation in between the two very important coasts. In this double-sized episode, we talked about gross food, saying “thank you,” why it’s all right to live in the gloomiest place in the country, and why you have to say “sorry,” even if sometimes it means you apologize for saying “sorry” too much. If you haven’t already, you can hear more from Brett at Street Fight Radio, the #1 anarcho-comedy station in the nation , located right here in Columbus, Ohio, and follow him on Twitter at @BrettPain . If you haven’t subscribed yet, you’re missing half of our episodes. You can fix that by clicking on this old button right here: Answer our questions from the ‘cast in the Official Comments Section below! You gotta subscribe to talk to us, but it’s worth it. Subscribers can also read comments by other listeners. Finally, listen to Garbage Brain University on Spotify or iTunes if you don’t already. Thanks again to Substack for our podcast/newsletter setup, and to The Melvins for our theme song, “Electric Flower,” used with permission. * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Mon, December 02, 2019
GBU 54: Winter: It's Dark All The Time
Natalie & Drew talk about why school spirit sucks, what happens when you only listen to Pretty Hate Machine, and how to follow someone backwards, in your car. We also listed 45,000 different facts about winter, and why Natalie loves it, and Drew hates it so much. Listen now and make the next hour of your life better. If you haven’t subscribed yet, you’re missing half of our episodes. You can fix that by clicking on this old button right here: Answer our questions from the ‘cast in the Official Comments Section below! You gotta subscribe to talk to us, but it’s worth it. Subscribers can also read comments by other listeners. Finally, listen to Garbage Brain University on Spotify or iTunes if you don’t already. Thanks again to Substack for our podcast/newsletter setup, and to The Melvins for our theme song, “Electric Flower,” used with permission. * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Fri, November 22, 2019
GBU 53: Soda, and A Theory For Why Fish Are Actually Aliens
This is our 53rd episode, and we’re finally sharing Natalie’s vast knowledge of soda, pop, coke, fizzfizz, bupples, glunk, diet bupples, or whatever you want to call the non-alcoholic flavored drinks you put in your mouth. There are MULTIPLE quizzes, and Drew shares his theory about why fish are aliens. It goes deeper than you’d think. Did you hear our last episode, about knives? If not, you’re gonna wanna subscribe, because half of our episodes are only for subscribers. Here’s how to do that: Contribute your own knowledge of pop with us in the comments section. Have you had any of the weird pop flavors from the quiz, or do you have any insider information? Share it with us here. You can also listen to Garbage Brain University on Spotify , iTunes , and/or Stitcher if you don’t already. Thanks again to Substack for our podcast/newsletter setup, and to The Melvins for our theme song, “Electric Flower,” used with permission. * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Wed, November 13, 2019
Punching A Horse Right In The Oat Pipe
Hey! It’s Drew & Natalie Dee, back again with another Garbage Brain University for you. This week, we’re talking horses, donkeys, zebras, and zonkeys. We’ve got a panoply of horse facts and weird horse stories for you. As always, there’s a play-along quiz, and Natalie sings a tiny, weird horse song. Also, due to popular demand, we’ve got Garbage Brain University t-shirts and hoodies now! Here’s what they look like: If you’re not a Garbage Brain University subscriber yet, you’re missing the other half of our episodes. If you wanna hear those, you’ll have to Subscribe Now, but that takes less than 60 seconds. Trust us on this: Are you a horse rider? Do you own a horse? Or lease one? Or have you ever seen a horse, or seen a picture of one? Have you seen a book at the library with a horse on the cover, and it might have been about horses, but who knows? Because you didn’t look inside? Well, this is the internet, so your comment will be placed on equal footing as those of horse scientists. Embrace your horse un-knowledge, and share it with others in our comment section. You can also listen to Garbage Brain University on Spotify , iTunes , and/or Stitcher if you don’t already. Thanks again to Substack for our podcast/newsletter setup, and to The Melvins for our theme song, “Electric Flower,” used with permission. * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, November 05, 2019
We Proved That Your Phone Listens To You All The Time
Drew & Natalie Dee explain why Siri, and all personal digital assistants, plop. We also talk about the Panopticon, improving your Ad Experience, getting clickbaited, why Drew isn’t an Eagle Scout, and why Natalie refuses to use self checkout. Also, a play-at-home quiz you can take while you listen, and a guest appearance by Siri, who turns out to (spoiler alert) be part of the global war experience. And more! Right now!!! Hit this button to subscribe to Garbage Brain - you’ll help us continue to make more and you’ll be able to participate in our listener experiments and communicate directly with our inner circle of Garbage Brain Geniuses. Comments are for subscribers only. Hit the View Comments button to see what we got this time! You can also listen to Garbage Brain University on Spotify , iTunes , and/or Stitcher if you don’t already. Thanks again to Substack for our podcast/newsletter setup, and to The Melvins for our theme song, “Electric Flower,” used with permission. * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Mon, October 28, 2019
A Spell To Stop Me From Shitting My Pants (w/ Rodney Anonymous)
This week, we had our friend Rodney Anonymous (of the Dead Milkmen) on to talk about witches, witchcraft, spells, and what happens when someone pulls a knife on you in a sub shop. Listen (and play along at home) to our most bizarre quiz yet, and find out what happens when Rodney demands a spell to stop him from pants disaster. It’s a mega-sized episode, it’s just in time for Halloween, and you can listen to it NOW!!!! The Dead Milkmen still tour - if you didn’t get into them as a kid, there’s still time to check them out. And you can listen to Rodney’s new band 7th Victim at Bandcamp - even if you’re not as goth as us, you’ll at least want to play this on Halloween. Hit this button to subscribe to Garbage Brain - you’ll get twice as many episodes and be able to participate directly in our comment ecosystem here. Comments are for subscribers only - here’s how you leave ‘em and see ‘em: You can also listen to Garbage Brain University on Spotify , iTunes , and/or Stitcher if you don’t already. Thanks again to Substack for our podcast/newsletter setup, and to The Melvins for our theme song, “Electric Flower,” used with permission. * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Wed, October 23, 2019
Out In The Yard, Drinking Dog Blood
Natalie and Drew expose the hidden world of vampires in this episode. We talked half-human/half-vampire hybrid babies, why we hate Beowulf, why zombies are less real than vampires, bags of blood, and all of the myriad ways you can become a vampire. Plus, a play-along quiz you can take while you listen! It’s all on this week’s episode of Garbage Brain University. Hit this button to subscribe to Garbage Brain - you’ll get twice as many episodes and be able to participate directly in our little ecosystem here. Comments are for subscribers only - here’s how you leave ‘em and see ‘em: You can also listen to Garbage Brain University on Spotify , iTunes , and/or Stitcher if you don’t already. Thanks again to Substack for our podcast/newsletter setup, and to The Melvins for our theme song, “Electric Flower,” used with permission. * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, October 15, 2019
The Conspiracy That Started Two Pizza Chains
Natalie Dee & Drew reveal the dark secret behind two well-known pizza chains in this episode of Garbage Brain University. Also, we talk Thanksgiving Pizza, Columbus (Northwest) Pizza, have a regional pizza quiz you can play along with while you listen, and dig into why non-pizza-foods flavored like pizza are Yucktown, Grosslahoma. New to Garbage Brain? Run out of free episodes? You’ll get instant access to over twenty subscriber-only episodes you’ve never heard, if you subscribe now: Subscribers! What kind of pizza do you eat? What kind of pizza do they have near you? Let’s chat about it in the comments. If you haven’t noticed yet, our comment sections are getting longer and longer, and people are making friends, and having fun. Check it out right here: You can also listen to Garbage Brain University on Spotify , iTunes , and/or Stitcher if you don’t already. And thanks again to Substack for our podcast/newsletter setup, and to The Melvins for our theme song, “Electric Flower,” used with permission. * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Mon, October 07, 2019
A Plan to Scare Poor People and Measure How Much They Pee
Natalie Dee & Drew present to you the bizarre story of Mothman, the legendary West-Virginia-based creature that might be real. Or not real. Maybe he’s real, but constructed by the CIA. We expose the facts, explore all of these theories, and more, right here, right now. Here’s an illustration of M-Man himself, as drawn by ???? in the year ???? (see, we told you it was mysterious.) It’s The Smiling Man, aka Indrid Cold, as drawn by someone who saw him, supposedly! Our friend Elissa , who you’ve heard on our Cemetery and Haunted Prison episodes, took these photos (above) in the Mothman Museum in Point Pleasant, WV. The actual watch and chapstick from the movie Mothman Prophecies! A letter from a Kennedy! And a very nicely made Mothman quilt. It’s the largest collection of Mothman memorabilia in the world. Want to hear the twenty-plus subscriber-only episodes of Garbage Brain University? Here’s the button you gotta hit: Subscribers! Have you been to Point Pleasant? Seen Mothman? Or Indrid Cold? Or another mysterious Appalachian creature or person? Do you want to? Leave us a comment, and read what other Garbage Brain Geniuses have to say: You can also listen to Garbage Brain University on Spotify , iTunes , and/or Stitcher if you don’t already! And thanks again to Substack for our podcast/newsletter setup, and to The Melvins for our theme song, “Electric Flower,” used with permission. * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Wed, October 02, 2019
The Word You Use To Say What Stuff A Thing Is
NAMES! You probably have one. In this episode, Drew & Natalie talk about your name (probably) and a bunch of other peoples’ names. Natalie explains why she doesn’t have a name, and Drew plays a name quiz that you can play along with as you listen. We also have dozens, maybe thousands, of name-based facts. We also mentioned that it’s illegal in Sweden to name your son Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116, which came up because a couple in Sweden tried to name their son exactly this word. (You’ll have to listen to the episode to find out what happened.) Want to get this in your email every week, and hear the subscriber-only episodes? Here’s the button you gotta hit: Subscribers! Take this moment to leave a comment, and read what other Garbage Brain Geniuses have to say: You can also listen to Garbage Brain University on Spotify , iTunes , and/or Stitcher if you don’t already! And thanks again to Substack for our podcast/newsletter setup, and to The Melvins for our theme song, “Electric Flower.” * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, September 24, 2019
Consumer Testing, Teeth, and Diet Coke
Drew’s boss tried to make him drink experimental chemicals. Natalie got paid five dollars to consumer-test cereal. We reveal why whitening toothpaste doesn’t work, Drew almost breaks a non-disclosure agreement with a billion-dollar company, Natalie reveals why she loves watching real surgery, and then makes Drew take a quiz, which you can play along with as you listen. Want to get this in your email every week, and hear the subscriber-only episodes? Here’s the button you gotta hit: Subscribers! Take this moment to leave a comment, and read what other Garbage Brain Geniuses have to say: You can also listen to Garbage Brain University on Spotify , iTunes , and/or Stitcher if you don’t already! And thanks again to Substack for our podcast/newsletter setup, and to The Melvins for our theme song. * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, September 17, 2019
Natalie, What Is A Chicken?
Natalie and Drew attempt to figure out what, exactly, chickens are. We talked about the strange life of Mike The Alive Headless Chicken, the exotic jungle origins of the humble normal chicken, and what chickens use their brains for. We also talked Chicken Baby, Shrimpy Chicken, Chicken Frankenstein, and more. Before we get to it, slam the Subscribe Now button! Right now! Right here: That photo is a Red Junglefowl, the ancestor of the modern chicken! It’s leaner, smaller, and it has a different voice. And that’s Chicken A La King! “Mmmmm.” We read all your comments, so if you have something to share with your fellow Garbage Brain Geniuses (listeners), then here’s where to go: You’ll have to subscribe to WRITE a comment, which you can do here: You can also listen to Garbage Brain University on Spotify , iTunes , and/or Stitcher if you don’t already! And thanks again to Substack for our podcast/newsletter setup, and to The Melvins for our theme song. Shrimpy chicken, * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Mon, September 09, 2019
The Cigarette-Smoking Chimp, and How To Play Titanic
Natalie & Drew dig deep to find the least boring sports-related facts possible. We tell you what it’s like to live in the third-largest football stadium in America, and why Drew’s childhood included a gun-factory bar with an outdoor chimp who smoked cigarettes. ( It’s real - but read the article after you listen, if you would.) Did you hang out with an imprisoned primate as a child? Play Titanic? Eat Bosco Sticks? Have a gym teacher yell Touch My Ass at you while you’re running? Then leave us a comment right here on the newsletter. We read all your comments here: Or, you can just subscribe now to hear our SIXTEEN premium episodes so far (one new premium episode every week!) You can also listen to Garbage Brain University on Spotify , iTunes , and/or Stitcher if you don’t already! And thanks again to Substack for our podcast/newsletter setup, and to The Melvins for our theme song. Think about it. * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, August 27, 2019
Our Dog Inventions: The Best Episode So Far
In the best episode of Garbage Brain University that’s been recorded so far, Natalie & Drew let the world in on our fantastic dog inventions, discover dozens of bizarre dog facts, and let you play along with a quiz about dog breeds. We also found the origins of “raw dog,” and this photo of a dog wearing jeans. Subscribe to hear our fifteen premium episodes (one new premium episode every week!) You can also listen to Garbage Brain University on Spotify , iTunes , and/or Stitcher if you don’t already! And thanks again to Substack for our podcast/newsletter setup, and to The Melvins for our theme song. Bye, * bye * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, August 20, 2019
Reassembling A Dead Person's Body (feat Elissa @badgirlfriday)
Our friend Elissa ( @badgirlfriday ) joins us again to bring us bizarre facts and stories about cemeteries! She’s the administrator of a fairly large cemetery, and tells us about how to create a museum for yourself after you die, what happens when detectives dig your dead ass up and chop it up, and how a dead body is put back together. Plus, facts about modern sarcophagi, why groundhogs live in graves, how to haunt your own house, and more. Subscribers may recognize Elissa from our previous episode about the haunted Ohio State Reformatory prison - if you haven’t heard this one yet, you should subscribe now to hear it and the other FIFTEEN subscriber-only episodes on Garbage Brain! You can also listen to Garbage Brain University on Spotify , iTunes , and/or Stitcher if you don’t already! And thanks again to Substack for our podcast/newsletter setup, and to The Melvins for our theme song. Talk to you next time. * drew & natalie This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, August 13, 2019
How To Quit College Three Times
Subscribers have already heard the first half of this extremely long school-based episode! Non-subscribers, here are our school facts from around the world, as well as even more stories. What happens in Catholic school if you’re not Catholic? Why do cigarette companies directly advertise to schoolchildren in some places? What do you do when your daughter kicks some little boy’s ass? How do you quit college three times? And most importantly, What Would Dave Thomas (The Founder Of Wendys) Do? If you enjoyed this, you’d probably like to hear the other half. Slam this Subscribe button and you can, right now, as soon as you’re done listening to this one. You can also listen to Garbage Brain University on Spotify , iTunes , and/or Stitcher if you don’t already! And thanks again to Substack for our podcast/newsletter setup, and to The Melvins for our theme song. Talk to you next time. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, August 06, 2019
Bigfoot Punched Me In The Face Because I Cried
Natalie & Drew investigate the facts (“facts”), lore, and stories about America’s favorite cryptid, Bigfoot. How big are its feet? How about its hands? Its femur? Is it real? Where is it? We sort of answer these questions, and two or three more questions. It’s really hard to find facts on Bigfoot. Subscribers get to hear the episodes that non-subscribers don’t, as well as leave comments, which we read and answer right here on the page. So slam this button right now: and we’ll get you twice as much Garbage Brain as the average person is allowed to have. There are now ELEVEN subscriber-only episodes which you can listen to immediately, as soon as you do this. You can also listen to Garbage Brain University on Spotify , iTunes , and/or Stitcher if you don’t already! And thanks again to Substack for our podcast/newsletter setup, and to The Melvins for our theme song. Talk to you next time. * drew & natalie This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Mon, July 29, 2019
There's Poop On Everything
Natalie & Drew dig into the world of hygeine and find out that there’s poop on everything, everywhere. Learn about how people used to bathe, why nobody used to pick lice out of their hair, what happens when a child sneezes directly into your mouth, and the exact amount of poop that’s in every swimming pool. (Unfortunately, it’s a lot.) There’s also a quiz you can play along with as you listen! It’s all in this, the currently most recent Garbage Brain University episode. Subscribers can comment directly on these posts (hi! you should do it now!) and get to hear the episodes that non-subscribers don’t. So slam this button right now: and we’ll get you twice as much Garbage Brain as the average person is allowed to have. There are now TEN subscriber-only episodes which you can listen to immediately, as soon as you do this. You can also listen to Garbage Brain University on Spotify , iTunes , and/or Stitcher if you don’t already! And thanks again to Substack for our podcast/newsletter setup, and to The Melvins for our theme song. Talk to you next time. * drew & natalie This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Mon, July 15, 2019
Natalie & Drew's UFO Theories
We talked facts about alien encounters, why aliens are our dads, shared some UFO stories from our listeners (follow @NatalieDee if you want to participate next time!) and both of us laid out never-before-heard theories about extraterrestrial life. There may or may not be content about kicking ET’s ass. You’ll have to listen to find out. Here are the videos Natalie mentioned - the first is from 2004 and the second is from 2015. They’re recently declassified Navy footage from fighter planes. Listen to the episode to get the full story of what these UFOs were doing. And! You’re welcome to leave us comments directly on these posts! You’ve gotta be a paid subscriber to do that, but if you chuck us a few bucks with this “Subscribe” button, you’ll also get a new GBU episode later this week that only paid subscribers get to hear: You can also listen to Garbage Brain University on Spotify , iTunes , and/or Stitcher. Thanks again to Substack for our podcast/newsletter setup & to The Melvins for our theme song. See you next episode! * drew & natalie This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Tue, July 09, 2019
Robo-Calls, Cowboys, And Payphones
Natalie & Drew dig into weird telephone facts, tell you how to make a telephone out of garbage, divulge the contents of cowboy-names.txt, place a call through miles of barbed wire, and invite you to play along with the Telephone Quiz while you listen. All in this single episode of Garbage Brain University. You can get twice as many Garbage Brain episodes each week by subscribing, which you can do with this very button: Or, you can even click the play button right up there and listen to us on garbagebrainuniversity.com . It’s up to you. Thanks again to Substack for our podcast/newsletter setup, and to The Melvins for our theme song. Talk to you again soon! * natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Mon, July 01, 2019
The Worst Candy In The World
Horehound! Rock candy! Candy corn! Salty candy! Drowning ET in a trash can! Throwing books on ET and drowning him! And swedish fish! It’s all about candy, and nothing else, especially not murdering Spielberg aliens from 1982, and it’s on this week’s free episode of Garbage Brain University. Make sure you follow @NatalieDee and @drewtoothpaste on twitter for more great shit, if you liked this episode, and subscribe to GBU to get TWO episodes every week instead of one. Twice the education! One low price! How can you say no? * drew & natalie This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Mon, June 24, 2019
Where We Got This Bag Of Neil Armstrong's Hair
The true, and bizarre, tale of how Drew’s barber stole hair from Neil Armstrong. A review of the collections of Twitter followers of @NatalieDee . Hoarding problems! An obscure video game where you hit a frog! HOMETOWN SMILES! A quiz that you can play along with while you listen! All this, and more, in this fresh episode of Garbage Brain University. Paul Brockman, shown here, has collected over fifty thousand dresses , which he purchased for his wife Margot, also shown here. They store them in a warehouse. Which is shown here. The entire story is basically in this photo. Barry Chappell has the world’s largest “chewed gumball,” made of nicotine gum and weighing 175 pounds. This picture makes me want to barf! Why are you touching it, Barry? Please don’t do this. Lydia Cline owns the largest known collection of AOL disks , now totalling over 4,000 unique items. There’s a small subculture of people who collect these, and rivalries. Some of the AOL disk collectors are mad at the others! If you didn’t know how people worked, this would surprise you. Bettina Dorfman owns over six thousand Barbie Dolls . I feel like I’m suffocating just looking at this picture! The whole collection must truly be an organization of mass-produced items in a small space intended to produce a reaction of panic and/or fear. Amazing! If you haven’t already, subscribe to us on Spotify , iTunes , and/or Stitcher. Leave us a five-star rating on there, if that’s how you feel about it! And if you enjoy Garbage Brain University, you’ll get twice as many episodes each week by subscribing right here with this dirty brown button: Thanks again for listening! * drew & natalie This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Mon, June 17, 2019
Why The Girl Gang Spaghettied Your Yard
Natalie’s girl gang. Drew’s opossum, covered in chicken grease. Trash cops, a cunning fake recycling program, and the reason why you should throw out all of your coffee mugs. Plus: a play-along trivia quiz, how Drew ended up on some shitty teen’s TikTok, and the reasoning behind Natalie’s head-to-toe glistening sheen. Thanks again to Substack for our podcast/newsletter setup, to The Melvins for our theme song, and to the people around the world who pick up, transport, process, and recycle the stuff that we can’t or don’t want to chuck in the alley. Talk to you again soon! * drew & natalie This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Mon, June 10, 2019
Paying for breathy phone calls & mounting a jar of peanut butter
We have to phrase this one delicately, since it’s tales from the back room at a video store and the other end of a 1-900 phone line. Play along with our “spicy video quiz” and learn what the French population searches after dark. And find out what a customer at Natalie’s old job used to do with peanut butter. (It’s not great.) We have a sequel to this episode in the works, but you’ll have to be a paid subscriber to listen, since this takes an enormous amount of time to research, record, and edit. So slam that button now & you’ll have access to our entire archive of paid recordings and newsletters, in addition to helping us continue Garbage Brain University. Until next time! * drew & natalie This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe
Mon, June 03, 2019
Eating A Trash Bag Full Of Burgers
Drew & Natalie Dee are back with more weird facts and bizarre stories. Sub shop rivalries, a milkshake down your shirt, pancakes of the world, the trash bag full of burgers, and, somehow, even more. It’s all in this episode of Garbage Brain University! The oldest restaurant in the United States is the Union Oyster House , which was started in 1826 in Boston. It wasn’t only a place to eat, but a social hub, and for some time, Louis Phillipe, who would later become the King of France, lived on the second floor . You’ll have to listen to this week’s episode to hear how Drew deals with oysters. It’s not pretty. The oldest fast food restaurant in America? That would be White Castle, the first of which opened in 1921. Are you a Castle-head? Leave a comment on this newsletter (click the little comment button up top or at garbagebrainuniversity.com ) and let us know what you think. We’re partial to a different fast food restaurant, which… you may have noticed already. If you haven’t, Bing it. Seventeen percent of all food ordered in restaurants goes uneaten. We’ll address the problem of food waste in an upcoming episode, but keep it in mind the next time you go hogwild at a big-portion restaurant. The restaurant can’t do anything with half of your dinner roll, really. At least not when people are, like this lady on Quora suggests, “injecting poison into” their uneaten food . (We don’t think that really happens, but the fact that she’s thinking about it sort of suggests that she might be doing this herself.) This is the quiz that Natalie gave Drew on this week’s episode. Look at those beautiful game cards! Use two fingers (the Gentleman’s Limit) on your device to zoom into the one card that’s already turned over! Then play the quiz along with Natalie and Drew at home as you listen. Spoiler alert: you can probably beat Drew. If you haven’t already, follow @NatalieDee on Twitter, especially RIGHT NOW, today, because she’s collecting some responses for an episode we’re recording TONIGHT. You can follow @DrewToothpaste as well, but most importantly, we have another paid episode dropping later this week which you won’t be able to hear without a paid subscription to Garbage Brain University . A paid sub also lets you comment on our episode
Mon, May 27, 2019
How Natalie Destroyed E.T.'s Nasty Little Body
Natalie & Drew run down the origins of “Nut Rage,” why you shouldn’t make DMT at home, the bizarre inventions created in dreams, and the time Natalie whooped E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial. It’s all in our longest-ever episode, and it’s time for you to listen to it right now. The study of dreams is called Oneirology. Even though interpreting dreams is still wholly subjective, dreaming plays an important role in the health of the human brain. It’s linked to REM sleep, named after the Rapid Eye Movement that occurs while in this deepest stage of sleep. Brain activity that occurs while dreaming is more similar to wakefulness than other stages of sleep, which is why we perceive dreams as being real while asleep. Nikola Tesla (above), the renowned inventor, supposedly came up with the concept of the alternating-current generator in a dream. Thankfully, it turns out he wasn’t super involved in Thomas Edison’s elephant-murdering scheme (well, neither was Edison, to any significant extent ) which leaves us to ponder his legacy relatively free from guilt. The ancient Sumerians were the first known society to interpret and record dreams , which they began doing around 3100 BCE. They believed the soul left the body and traveled through the world while asleep, which, to their credit, is hard to prove or disprove. Maybe while you’re astrally traveling at night, your soul is late to work, and can’t read the bus schedule, and your soul’s teeth keep falling out. We don’t recommend you take DMT, but we go into the endogenous creation of it as well as why you shouldn’t make it in buckets in your driveway. Here’s a neutral article about the drug some people have called “The Spirit Molecule,” and here’s a VICE article called “Why Does DMT Make You Feel Like You’re Dying?” Fun! Finally, Natalie tells the story of how and why she whipped E.T.’s nasty little ass. Like him or hate him, you gotta admit he had it coming. Anyway, if you aren’t a paid subscriber, you’re missing out on our premium diamond-level episodes! And only paid subscribers can comment on our newsletters! So click on this little brown Subscribe button, it’s cheap, it’s easy, and you’ll get more GBU immediately. Enjoy! * drew & natal
Mon, May 20, 2019
How We Got A Ghost On The Podcast
The true story of a ghost who convicted her husband of murder! An offramp ghost who just wants a ride! Undead grandmas! Thousands of ghost facts! And the first-ever live summoning of a ghost on a podcast. Smash that play button and let’s get spooky. We talked about Zona Heaster Shue on this episode, the first, and possibly only, ghost who managed to convict her murderer for her untimely death. (Here’s a photo of her grave via Findagrave.) The prosecutor didn’t believe that she really came back to speak to her mother, despite the fact that it was 1897, but he ordered an investigation anyway. Her husband Edward (whose real name was Erasmus) was found to have had two previous wives who also died mysteriously. Mystery solved… by a ghost. The Franklin Castle in Cleveland is, according to some, “The Most Haunted House In Ohio.” We dug into the history of how this house was brought over brick-by-brick from Germany and rebuilt. Hannes Tiedemann, the owner, was purported to have killed several people inside of the house, and has been seen wandering the offramps of Cleveland, asking for a ride home to his castle. Did you know that Osama Bin Laden’s ghost is horny? You do now, thanks to this 100%-factual adult novella. So, no, ghosts aren’t real in the sense of “woooo, ghost heeeere, whatsuuuuupppp,” but 18% of all Americans claim to have seen a ghost. That number includes Natalie, who, despite being wholly skeptical of anything paranormal, tells the story of the time she saw an actual, real-life ghost on this episode. Only 32% of Americans believe in ghosts , but the idea of ghosts is universal to every culture that exists in the world today, and as far as we can tell, pre-dates recorded history. Ghost-skeptics are everywhere in 2019, because it’s easy, given our access to information and knowledge, to conclude that ghosts do not exist. The cognitive dissonance of a being with no physical presence being able to slam doors and rattle chains is easily pulled apart, and the desire to be Correct is the hallmark of the Internet Poster. But in the early 20th century, belief in the paranormal was incredibly popular, and Harry Houdini, the famed magician, was likely the first ghost-skeptic that pushed back against spiritualism in the public eye. He gave his wife a secret code that he would use if he were to contact her from beyond the grave, and <a target="_blank" hr
Mon, May 13, 2019
The Mailman Kissed My Mail
How the post office shot missiles full of mail to Florida! The insanely difficult zip code game (play along while you listen!) The history of sending people through the mail! Nixon’s mail vendetta! And more. Listen to the full episode and subscribe at garbagebrainuniversity.com to get each episode the second it drops. (We’re also on iTunes, Spotify and a handful of other services.) The United States Postal Service handles 47% of the mail in the entire world, and operates 143,000 of its famous “blue box” mailboxes. There are around 42,000 zip codes, from 00501 (Holtsville, NY) to 99950 (Ketchikan, AK.) And zero percent of its budget comes from taxation - it’s supported solely by retail sales. The smallest post office in America? That’s the Ochopee, FL branch (above) which measures seven by eight feet. It employees a single clerk and a single mail carrier , whose daily route is 132 miles long. We talked extensively on this ‘cast episode about the weird ties between the famous USPS “Long Life Vehicle” mail trucks and the war industry. They were built well enough to drive a million miles each and were designed to last 24 years, but since no new LLVs have been manufactured since 1994, they’ve gone beyond their intended lifetime and are now catching fire here and there. (Don’t worry - the carrier from that picture above got out okay, but here’s an article about LLVs self-igniting. ) Mail carriers have difficult jobs with long hours and exorbitant physical labor, but they’re also burdened with the responsibility of not committing a federal crime by misdelivering the mail. In fact, the longest prison sentence ever handed down in Spain was to a mailman who failed to deliver 42,768 pieces of mail, and whose prosecutor requested a sentence of 384,912 years. He ended up serving 19 years, which was no doubt terrible, though less than the nine-years-per-letter sentence that was originally requested. (Photo: Milwaukee Journal, 1972.) Hey, remember this band, The Postal Service? They were served with a cease & desist from the USPS in 2003 , but ended up negotiating a deal where they were allowed to continue using the name. The deal included a gig at the USPS’s National Executive Conference, which may have been their only show where the audience was more boring than the pensive indie-pop The Postal Service was gleeking out on stage. Mail is still <a target="_blank" href="https://w
Mon, May 06, 2019
I Accidentally Murdered A Squirrel
In this episode of Garbage Brain University, we’ve got thousands of squirrel facts, a squirrel quiz, and one very unfortunately dead squirrel. Our new theme song is “Electric Flower” by The Melvins , used with the permission of Ipecac Recordings and The Melvins. If you haven’t already, subscribe @ garbagebrainuniversity.com to get the newsletter that holds all the facts we were unable to cram into the podcast! Squirrels may be the cutest of all invasive species, but they’re fucking everywhere, ranked as “Least Concern” on the Red List Of Threatened Species . Girl squirrels have multiple litters a year, giving birth to anywhere from two to eight smaller squirrels per litter. They’ve been around for millions of years, with squirrel fossils dating back to the Pleistocene era, which makes it no less tragic that Drew murdered one. It wasn’t on purpose. (You’ll have to listen to the episode to find out why.) Even though urban squirrels are often unafraid of people, some people are definitely afraid of squirrels. Sciurophobia is the term for medical-grade squirrel fear, and although the name isn’t familiar to many, it affects up to 250,000 people in the United States alone. On the cast, Natalie talked about how her friend was trapped on the roof by a squirrel, and we were surprised to find out how common this fear actually is. The Eastern Gray Squirrel is the predominant species in most of North America, and the typical member of the species hides more food than they recover, meaning that squirrels are the cause of millions of hidden caches of nuts, seeds and acorns which are left to rot every year. Don’t get too mad, though. Unlike squirrels, humans can’t eat raw acorns, anyway. (You can process them and eat them, and here’s a guide on how to do it , though we don’t recommend it.) Acorns contain high levels of tannins, a bitter compound that’s toxic to humans in a large dose, but which squirrels can eat with apparent impunity. Did you know squirrels are related to woodchucks? You do, now. They’re also related to marmots (above,) an animal you may have never thought of before, unless you’re a big animal-head. Two people were hospitalized just this weekend for contracting the bubonic plague (The Black Death) from eating marmot meat
Mon, April 29, 2019
A new podcast & newsletter by Drew & Natalie Dee.
Hello! It’s Drew & Natalie Dee , who you know from Married To The Sea, The Worst Things For Sale, and other online projects. We’re working with Substack to create Garbage Brain University, a brand-new weekly newsletter and podcast where we’re collecting and sharing weird facts and stories. Some of our episodes will be for paid subscribers only, and some will be for everyone to listen to for free. You’ll be able to listen to Garbage Brain University on your favorite podcast app soon, but since this is your sneak preview from being an OG reader, we don’t have syndication set up quite yet. The first episode is attached here, and you’ll be able to re-listen or download it, along with our future eps, at garbagebrainuniversity.com . Our first installment explores the weirdest parts of Ohio, the heart-shaped state where 11,700,000 people reside today. We talked about Ohio’s weird flag on Episode 1 of Garbage Brain University, but in case you haven’t listened yet, here it is. It’s the only non-rectangular state flag, and as we discovered, this shape is called a “burgee.” Ohio didn’t have a state flag for almost a hundred years after it became a state, finally adopting the design above when the Cleveland architect John Eisenmann created it for a World’s Fair in 1901, leading state leaders to declare “Fuck it, that’s our state flag now.” Until recently, the worst President in American history was Ohioan Warren G. Harding. You’ll have to listen to the ‘cast to hear exactly why, but Natalie shares some knowledge of his misdeeds she picked up from living in his hometown of Marion, Ohio. One of the facts we didn’t touch on is that he bought the failing Marion Star, built up its bottom line by refusing to pay its employees, and turned it into a successful paper by manipulating and conning everyone he could. If this (or naming his dong Jerry and talking at length about Jerry in letters to his mistress ) intrigues you, the book “Dead Last: The Public Memory Of Warren G. Harding’s Scandalous Legacy” might be up your alley. This is the Merchant Ball, which mysteriously rotates on its stone base over time. What causes it? Nobody knows. But we’ve been to this cemetery a few times, and the damn spot is always in a different place. It’s probably ghosts, because that’s the coolest explanation. Atlas Obscura suggests it moves through “imperceptable vibration.” But what causes the vibration? Probably ghosts.
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